Saturday, December 29, 2007
Dah penat nk memikir benda yg sentiasa akan jadi masalah. Semua orang berubah dan hidup perlu diteruskan. Kalau dah susah sangat nak hidup dengan orang lain, jangan kesah la kalau orang tak pedulikan kamu.
I did crossed the ocean.
Tak faham kenapa perlu untuk jadi sampai macam ni.
Just give me some kind of sign.
Mungkin kita dah tak serasi lagi untuk meluangkan masa bersama. atau
Is this the right place or the right time?
I went to Tecso last week. There was to many Bangladesh workers that I can barely see local people working in Tesco.
They're trying to cut down the budget I supposed.
So then, when I went to look for spaghetti, I asked a Bangla worker where it is, and he shouted back to me, "No!, No!" and shoved me away. Wow.. wasn't that scary enough to tell you not to ask any Bangla worker anything..? They cant understand any Malay, or English isit? I had no idea.
But that wasnt the only thing that happened. On my way to the car, few minutes before Tesco closes, there was some Banglas (again..) were trying to chase us out from the store. (They were shouting, "Out!,Out!"). I was already on my way to leave the place la, haiyooh! But the BANGLAS didnt tell us that all the west exit was already closed! I had to turn back, to the east exit, pushing the super heavy cart, cursing the stupid Banglas all the way back to my car.
What a waste of time. Seriously, TESCO, if you guys thinks that hiring the Banglas are cheaper, for the quality of the service, its going all the way to the drain.. Somehow, I prefer to shop at Carrefour or Mydin.. Lagi senang hati kut..
Reality knocked me on the head. Where did I go wrong?
Home is great. There's no place like home. But I want to go out too, meet my friends, hang out, go shopping. But as the 13th day passed, things have been.. almost the same. Yeah, I went out with Sza and some of the other girls. Somehow, I still ended up shopping all alone. Ah! Pathetic-nya!!
I went thru a bad chapter with him today. and I want to write about it. It was my first time ever to raise my voice and tell him about how I felt. How angry I was with him. It ended up that, I was the one to blame and things has always been my fault.
I have to admit that I wanted to spend more time with him. I do miss him. I havent really hang out with him for about 2 years or so. When he have to leave even before we really did anything, I was heart broken. The story is not as short nor simple as this. But one thing for sure, I need to repair it. He did the best he can to give me what I want. Entahlah.. it wasn't enough.
Alhamdulillah, I have a great family. At home, I cant shred a tear, nor have the time to even think about any relationship problems. Things are always.. happy. =)
2moro, I'll be going to Singapore InsyaAllah to do some shopping. Again, alone. I can only pray that things will turn out to be fine in days to come.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
'Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan; 'Kami telah beriman,' sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya kami telah menguji orang-orang yang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui orang-orang yang benar dan sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang-orang yang dusta.' (Surah Al-Ankabut, ayat 2-3)
KENAPA AKU TAK DAPAT APA YANG AKU IDAM-IDAMKAN? 'Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.' (Surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 216)
KENAPA UJIAN SEBERAT INI?
'Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya.' (Surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 286)
'Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu orang-orang yang (sungguh-sungguh) beriman.' (Surah Ali 'Imran, ayat 139)
BAGAIMANA HARUS AKU MENGHADAPINYA? 'Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu (menghadapi segala kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan), dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh, di medan perjuangan), dan bersedialah (dengan kekuatan pertahanan di daerah-daerah sempadan) serta bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah supaya, kamu berjaya (mencapai kemenangan).' (Surah Ali 'Imran, ayat 200) 'Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk' (Surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 45)
APA YANG AKU DAPAT DARIPADA SEMUA INI? 'Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari orang-orang mu'min diri dan harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga untuk mereka' (Surah At-Taubah, ayat 111)
KEPADA SIAPA AKU BERHARAP? 'Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain dariNya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakkal.' (Surah At-Taubah, ayat 129)
AKU DAH TAK DAPAT BERTAHAN LAGI!!!!! ' dan janganlah kamu berputus asa daripada rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yang kafir.' (Surah Yusuf, ayat 12) '' sesungguhnya ALLAH S.W.T bersama dengan hambaNya yang sentiasa bersabar dan patuh kepadaNya ''
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
As for today, we went to Yokohama for En. Hisham's open house. Other Petronas senior was there too. but not all.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Mulia! (=
Saturday, October 13, 2007
kemana bisa pergi suara anak2 kecil itu?
Im starting to miss home as everybody starts to leave. Im still waiting for a call.
Malam raya call from a family member or something. I called home, all the handphone number that I can get, none of them got thru.
Well, I had a great time tonight. The juniors, May, Husna, Tan and Rikku. We cooked 2gether. Eat 2gether. Dishes well made. But I was too 'blur' I guess. I went and change the fridge's temp to warm n the caramel pudding that we made didnt managed to.. paham2 lah. Tapi makan jugak sampai habis. Baik sungguh adik2 ku ini. x_x#
Rikku buat rendang ayam yg rasa mcm kari. Tapi sedap. Yeah it was delicious! Husna made ayam masak merah yg bewarna orange. Hihi. I made lauk sayur lemak yg dibantu oleh Khairy and Siri. ARIGATOU ne. Menolong orang yang heta memasak ini. May was very2 helpful! HONTOUNI!
Alhamdulillah. to the ONE and ONLY god, Im saying my prayers, to tell you how thankful I am for this life that you blessed me with. I had the best Ramadhan that i'd ever find, and to wonder if Im ever gonna meet Ramadhan again like an old best friend. As tomorrow will be the first day of Syawal, a day to celebrate, 'akumademo' i will still be as thankful as I can be. Insya'allah.
This year, I met a lot of wonderful people. People that change others. Great muslim Japanese, like Huda, Fatimah, Mariam, and a lot of Indonesian.( well, I did practice my Indonesian language a lot!) To love a friend, only because of Allah. and to be loved, only because of Allah.
Masya'allah. What a blessing this is to be a muslim. =)
Nasuha n Hani over Skype. (Kulim, Kedah)
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
I had a LOT of fun. The best that it can ever be. The smiles that I want to save and potray. I'll post up the other pictures later. Its 2a.m in the morning. I cant describe how lucky I am and I should be very thankful to have these people in my life. Alhamdulillah.. They taught me to hate. To forgive. and to love. For my new juniors, Im looking forward to be having you guys as my friends, my mentors, and wtv that you guys can be. People that will make my day. Brighter. and to the Seniors that always had our back. Give us aspiration. +laughter +laughter. last but not least, my mates. Husna, Asyraf, Awadh, Tan + May.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
With all the love.
Pictures from the 'celebration'.HERE
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The first time ever, that I felt so lonely.
The first time ever, that I felt so ditched out.
The first time ever, that I felt like washing myself out the drain.
I lost a rice cooker. I lost a friend ( which doesn't really matter.)
I lost faith in someone, who I thought were the one, that I can always count on.
I'm not blaming you for being hypocrite.
I'm not blaming you for treating me like shit.
I'm not blaming you for making my life difficult.
All the you(s) that were there for me, I feel blessed, and thankful for having you in my life. To make me stronger. To realized what am I here for.
You see me as a person that is weird.
You see me as someone that is full of her self.
You want to see me fall right on my face.
Thanks a lot. Again for making my life not so boring after all. Laughter, 2-faced smiles. My tears.
I bet you're happy.
Seeing me so pathetic.
Seeing me so negative.
Seeing me as a big head loser like this.
I can reach the for sky. or I can just stay and not to move a muscle. But I am not here to be moulded by you. No, no no. I will say whatever I want to say. I have beliefs. I'm holding on to a faith. A religion.
And as for this moment, I'm being tested. This is not the first time. The feeling is different. I can only wonder if you know what am I blabbing about.
Ramadhan. Ramadhan. As I'm fasting, please help me fast from having any feelings. I don't need them at the moment. Distract me from being so emotional. I was never like this. and nor I want to be one. Its taking too much of my time. My concentration.
"If I bake you an ice cream cake, would you taste it and give me a big loving smile...?"
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Still, I hanvt finished 2 more compisition taht Kokubu sensei gave me last week. Yet, i got 3 more works today to send in by tomorrow.
Things are pressuring me very hard. Why cant I just blow up? just to release all this mental pain. I don't feel like telling anybody about it but my mom, as I prefer to write here. In this square-box of mine.
You can tell me everything that you want to say. But, nothing of that, things that I want to hear. I cant be move by words. Weather I'm just pure lazy or very-very hurt. I hate the fact that you are moulding me, my life, my thoughts. You're no god.
Or, shall I say, you. in fact, didn't do anything at all. I really appreciate you, trying to help me. Trying to show me that you cared. But it all seems so invisible to me, somehow. That it doesn't make any sense.
Skip this part of me if you're not ready for it. I'm not here to be what you want to see. Let me have my pace. and enjoying my space. If I'm not one of you, I guess I'm not that so perfect after all.
Let me disappear. To go back, to where i belong.
as I miss home so much.
that its hurting me. and
its carving my hard so violently.
as I cried, I'm hating myself for this insecurity.
I'm here to face the test. and this just another phase of it.
Give me Your guidance.. for me to pursue this little journey.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
5 boys. Well, 4 of them will be living in ABK, but 1 very unlucky boy will have to move in to Yamabuki ( my dormitory). I hate living so far away from school. Train(40mins), or bicycle(20mins)? I have to think about that every single morning. Im been using the bicycle as it is faster than the train. But doing the "mountain biking", will get me into some trouble one day.
I wonder who will that unlucky boy be. Hahaha.
Jya mata. Sayonara.
My ever so-lovable friends from Intec. Most of them are now studying in South Korea, doing engineering. They're this super happy go lucky people that would just make your day. I miss my McD! I think she cool. =D Not forgetting my roomates, Syifa, Izzati, and Tikah. I never thought that they would get along with me VERY WELL in such a VERY SHORT time! 2 of them are flying to Australia by next year i think. Good luck to them! and to Syifa' too! as she's doing medicine bound for... Ireland if im not mistaken. Thanks for all your support! You guys are well missed.With my mom, my aunties, uncle and cousins. You guys are the best family that i can ever ask for! I was showered with supports, love, laughs, smiles. Thank you for everything! =))
and Hey! last but not least, my friends that went to KLIA to send me off. Even though they had classes on the same morning, they managed to come. Few of my bestfriends - Sza, Alia, Due, Darem, Daffi, Oazair, and Hafiz. Seriously, I was flattered. I miss you guys so much, and thanks for everything. To alia, thanks for the red scarf. Its very2 pretty! Sza, you know i love purple so much. everything u gave to me was purple. -_-" still, ARIGATOU!!
I guess thats the end of this episode of my memory lane. hehe. There is always someone to thank to all the time. We need each other to live. As we fight along the way, there's the fun and the journey of it. something to gain and to learn. People to meet and to love.
Jya mata ne. Sayonara. Assalamualaikum. =)
Im on the Heroes' last episode of its 1st season. I spent 2days long to finish this 23 episodes of tc shows. Urgh! When's the 2nd season coming??
I heard that the cast are doing a world tour right now. then, whens the 2nd season coming??!!
Anyway, (not much of a spoiler..) but in the end, I couldnt really figure out who is the MAIN hero in this story. I gues that is why they called it heroES. Hiro Nakamura did killed Sylar with a samurai sword, but he got knocked off, then teleported himself back to the 17th centuries in Japan. Still, Hiro isnt the only hero as Peter's brother, Nathan, came to rescues him (Peter) by carying him up to the sky to be blasted off there. -_-"
And Claire was there too. I guess she did played a big part. Imagine if Sylar got her in the first place. Sylar would be perfectly immortal, which would unable Hiro Nakamura to save the world. (that would include Peter too as well.) I think that Sylar was some SERIOUS crazy maniac on the loose. How could you just cut someone's brain out using your fingers, just to get their brain (to get the super powers)?
Disgusting i supposed. But, really I would love to have Claire's power as she can mend herself in any situation, even after being dead. Cool.
Yah, Jessica/Niki did helped. She was great. I love her character very much! I was a hard one, dont you think? She had to act that as 2 different character at the same time.
Whoever that invented this story, was some man! With running imaginations, full of live, and hope. The amazing characters. The so ever telented actors. The special effects.. etc.
Everybody wants to be a superhero isnt it? This one series, did captured it.
I had fun.
Jya. Mata ne.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
|I think it's|
Monday, August 27, 2007
And if I worship U in hope of paradise, exclude me from it
But if I worship U for Your own being
Don't withhold from me Your everlasting beauty.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Friday, August 03, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
that we should study more than 10 hours per day, as today will be the first day of the 3 weeks summer holiday. Well, I found it a little bit impossible.
Morning ; 10 till 12
Evening; 1 till 4
Night; 7 till 12........... 10 hours!
Last night, I ended up doing HARRY POTTER MOVIE MARATHON instead of doing my mountain high homeworks.
Starting from the 2nd movie, Chamber of Secret, to the 3rd movie, Prisoner of Azkaban, followed by the 1st movie, Sorcerer's Stone, and lastly at 2a.m in the morn, 4th movie, Goblet of Fire.
Those cost me MORE than 10 hours, obviously. I guess, studying for more than 10 hours too, was never impossible.
I WILL learn to love my study as much as i love Harry Potter.
All the best to me!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
|I think it's|
Today, the worst exam EVER!
ＥＪＵ ｎ ＴＯＥＦＬ results came out today.
EJU - Japanese University Entrance Exam.
And again, tanpa segan silunya, saya ingin meletakkan markah saya.. =)
日本語Ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅー ２２１ over 400
数学 Ｍａｔｈｓー １０２ over 200
総合科目 Ｇｅｎｅｒａｌ－ １２４ over 200
Ｓｏ，its ４４７over ８００
TOEFL -The iBT format
Reading - 24
Ｓo, its １０４ over １２０
（i dont think I'll be doing any review on it this time. =)
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
|I think it's|
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
It went sky high. Even though i've been controling it. like crazy.
Its getting expensive. even though ive been choosing for the cheapest price.(like crazy too.)
My phone bill.
My flight ticket.
Things keep on coming. It never stops.
My laptop's condition.
My studies, my results..
I.am finding the best solution.
To think rationally in my decision.
To know that its a test from Allah as im sailing my way.
Thru this journey burden with a mission.
As i know. In HIS verses saying "so.verily, with every difficulty, there is relief."
There's a brighter side to this.
I went places. Views i never thought I'll ever see.
To know a person to the extent that i can really have faith in.
Deciding greater steps in this life. Between which. and which.
Why. and more of why(s). Not forgetting, what? and a lot of what??
There's a price i must pay. For not knowing.
For not paying more attention.
But i keep on wondering if its ever going to end.
(Of course its not)
Im relying it all to The One.
Try . to push my self to the limit.
To know that Im really trying and not just complaining about life.
Monday, January 08, 2007
|I think it's|
Sunday, January 07, 2007
|I think it's|
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
- Boten Anna by Basshunter. A Sweedish trance music recomended by Nishreen. Thanks babe!
- J'ai Pas Vingt Ans by Alizee (Benny Remix). French sang trance. a mesmerizing nice music. Thanx to the french PET. =P
I've downloaded the mp3 version of all the 6 books of Harry Potter. It was too heavy for me to bring it here. And its way too expensive to get one. I decidede to have em dloaded in audio. I wonder. Will affects me in terms of feeling the book? learning more new english words? It does make a lot of difference right? All of the audio... hmm.. abt 3gig. LoL.. I'll be crashing my laptop sooner or later..