Thursday, December 28, 2006


I've put up some videos on YouTube n pictures on Flickr. The link is on the Link bar on the left. Feel free to browse thru. Ja!

Cold and Falling

Cold and Falling Originally uploaded by nadiahazli.

On Mount Hakuba Iwatake or whatever which one goes first.. Nagano. Im learning very hard to play how to snowboard. I came with a thought of playing skii, but snowboard looks safetier to me. =) I didnt want to go at first. But having the thought of someone had paid first for me, it was rude to pull out last minute.

I can say that i went alone. None of the girls wanted to join this. Its okay, as Im getting used to do things on my own now. I make short videos, took pictures, go briskwalking at night, watching the ever-so-beautiful stars that are invisible to in the sky of Tokyo.

As i arrived on top of that mountain, put on the board.. And way I go down to the egde. Rikku teached me how to stand n im all on my own after that. Seeing how others do it. I followed blindly. I fell on my ass, my back, my hand... Im in pieces. Bruises all over.. But the worst part was how i felt so crushed. My heart is like the-ever-so hard-ice. Im keeping it very secure in place so that Im never gonna breakdown.

At the end of the first day, I fell on my hand. I hurt so bad that i just couldnt move a bone. I tried to recover but it took me too long to realize that everybody had already went back. The same thing happened on the 2nd day n so the 3rd one. I told myself that Its only my feeling that people are pulling away from me. Is that so? My mind gave my heart a very big smile. To tell my self that its just a stage of my life and things will happened.

I almost lost my phone. I can hear the voices telling me how a bad-careless person i am. How i cant even keep myphone before i receive my first phone bill. I cant cry. I just smile."I'll pay for it. I'll pay for it", I said to myself. I dont know what to do. But I keep on smiling. As i went down for another run, I bumped into Rikku, and breakdown. I had to tell him that i lost my phone. I cried, got up, and went straight down. Masya'allah, The God is, The MOST Merciful n The MOST Kind. As i reached back up, Rikku handed me my phone. A lil bit crooked, the srceen cracked. But its all okay. I thanked Allah countlessly.

Thru my 3 days snowboarding experience and journey, tons of great lessons learned. Test of patience, bravery, and courage. Spiritually and mentally, Im a way better person today.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


This is a test post from flickr, a fancy photo sharing thing.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


Monday. a big smile on the way to school. my iPod played great music that mornin. one small thing changed my life. im no 半分 anymore. last saturday night, i feel appreaciated. i feel loved. to know that i have someone is besides me always. not including The One who never left me alone before, or i'll say, ever! I can't hide the happiness on my face. Sensei saw it, and Tan was like, "何かいい事があったんですか?”。Cis! Hancur moodku.. First time in someweeks that i didnt felt sleepy at all troughout the lessson. Tuesday. Had the 復習 Testo today. not tiesto (i miss trance music so much though..) test-o. It went better than before. not well, but better. I went kaimono-ing afterwards. Again, things that would really make my day. Window shopping, trying on clothes that i feel like buying, but im gonna have to think few more times about it. Imagine, simple top. 60bux. Its quite cheap actually to be compared with Zara or Forever21. rite? But im saving for a 電子辞書、冷蔵庫、apa lagi la.. macam2 la.. but my main mokuteki is to eat well n get nice clothes to wear. done.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Get it goin.

5:20a.m Its tha saturday. Lets get tha weekends goin. Later 2day i'll b havin my Toastmaster thingy. 2moro ada usrah. But I dont think I wanna do just 'it'. Go to the park or sumthing.. I spent most of my time sleepin in my room. Mau kemana sih? Nish went back 2Msia already. She got one month of Christmas break. Mine, 2weeks je. Baikla.. saya mau solat subuh. kang x bangun for toastmaster, sy akan dibunuh oleh org gila itu. Alien kan? kalau saya dperlukan je baru nk ckp dgn sy. kalu x, pandang mukaku pun dia xkan. Apa mau jadi la sama org mcm itu..

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Sujuk's Coming!

Great. Just great! I went to class late. not 3mins late, but 3hours of lateness! Aa.... I woke up early this morning, but my head n my body almost killed me. I just couldnt get up..Im okay, just fine. I dont need to see the doctor. Thanks. I wanna put a smile. and to smile again. Even just a fake one. I want my akarui life back! Im erasing the past. Goodbye to the moody-me. Its getting colderrr.. My lips chapped. badly. I wonder how do my other friends r doing in Russia, France. Itsnt it colder there? I think Tokyo just hit bout less than 10. The toilet water are like ice! I know they dont use water, but us? Aaaa....

Tuesday, December 05, 2006


Monday, December 04, 2006

As If Im gonna be happier.

as im typing, and keep on typing.. im crashing my heart to ashes. this hurts a lot. as i need a shoulder badly to cry on. as im starting to brake down. I pretend too much to be happy. im trying too hard. but it ended up eating myhead off. im turning 2b someone im not. someone i never wish i would ever want to be. if only the world evolves around me. if only he treates me just a lil bit nicely. i wont have anything to say, or to blame. i know, people hate to care bout other's problem. dont try to be nice if ur not. if u dont want to know my storyline, n help me cope with it, then, thanks. i dont need that kind of attention. let me write. dont bother me. as he say, if only it cud make me happier. while im separating myself from my environment, trying to fit in, trying to change, these are my obsticles. my test to hold on. to keep on breathing for my life. i need a change. something less bitter than this. the right time to just follow the flow. its not about "just-some-other-guy" problem. i dont know if i was wrong. i dont know if he's right. i dont know if others are the same too. im just a lil bit broken.. n caught in a moment. a moment for me to open up a bad little bruise on my skin.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

More To Reality.

Shopping technology. Thats everything that i own now. Hp printer, IBM Laptop, my Logitech Webcam, My headphone, Some internet security crap, ( sebelum mereka dirasmikan). I should be thankful. and I am. very am. My Laptop & Webcam. Pada masa ini laptop saya dodol. Dia buat perangai pada hari ke-2 sy menggunakannya. All the kanji popped out! And it died at then. Pelik kan? Jangan tanya kenapa saya beli IBM. Saya kan pandai.. xnak dgr cakap org..
My phone n iPod.
I got 'em together. With this plan from SoftBank.
But i have to hold the phone for the next 2 years. But i got the 2G iPod for a cheaper price. It was a good deal. Till i have to pay the bills every month, then i'll know how good the deal was..
My Room.
Its super messy. Just deal with it. I can be a good housekeeper if i want to. =P
I live in this plc alone. Husna 's next door. But now I have some other gadgets to not make me feel lonely. n Im happy here btter than anyplc.
*Expt. thier garden n hill tops. Those are the best plc to hang out or just chill. But alone la.. Hehee..

2 Months.

Days went soo fast. I couldn't feel the moving time. Im starting back this blog of mine after stoppin for a while. Its hard though, to just sit and write. I ave the words right here in my head. But when it comes to online-ing and writin blogs, I stumbled.
2day, the 3rd time we change place in class. I never expected anything. But it seems that sometimes the choices lies in my hand. To change or not. Im starting to get annoyed. The uneaseness is killin me. Im not happy with my seating. It is I who have to get use to my environment. How to be happy with whatever ur given? To make full use of it?
As days are getting shorter. My life is gettin wasted. Isyak is at 5 sumthing p.m now. by that time, I felt like, "Oh, I prayed isyak already.. now its time for bed". Its good is someway, but I ended up goin 2bed at 2-3a.m in the mornin online-ing and doin my homework. The next morning, im gonna struggle very hard in class just to stay up. 3p.m, i reached home, back to the laptop again. The same routine goes on for the past week! Something is somehow wrong here.
Its gettin colder day by day.. my room is super freakin cold cuz my heater broke down. They're changing a new one next week. By that time, i dont know what cud happen to me. Hmm.. I cant blame the weather. Damn me.
Bunga yg sgt chomel tapi sangat mahal.. bout 24 bux. 788YEN. there's one with cherries n cute little apples. =)
Picture with JPA's senior. This mountain ada keluar asap panas dsbbkan gunung berapi.. Pastu diorang buat telur hitam kat sini.. Rasa sama je mcm telur biasa, cuma hitam. mesti diorang x pnah tgk telur masin.. =P
This picture on top was taken from the bukit berasap which ive forgotten what its name was. Mount Fuji can be seen from up here. Its like a snow white small mount floatin in the air. It was so beautiful. Hontou.
*All pictures are courtesy from my new pink samsung phone. =)