Saturday, December 29, 2007

13 days have passed.

It hurts a lot when I expect too much.
Reality knocked me on the head. Where did I go wrong?

Just looking at my baby sister would be one of the happiest thing to do. Sitting in front of the tv all day long on the big black sofa, how I wish I can do that. When my mom was out, I had to take care of the baby. Obviously, I cant provide the "baby food", so I ended up carrying her everywhere I go, trying very hard to keep her from crying. Cooking with one hand wasn't easy as I had to set up the dining table as well. I didn't want to complain because I should be thankful about being at home..

Home is great. There's no place like home. But I want to go out too, meet my friends, hang out, go shopping. But as the 13th day passed, things have been.. almost the same. Yeah, I went out with Sza and some of the other girls. Somehow, I still ended up shopping all alone. Ah! Pathetic-nya!!

I went thru a bad chapter with him today. and I want to write about it. It was my first time ever to raise my voice and tell him about how I felt. How angry I was with him. It ended up that, I was the one to blame and things has always been my fault.
I have to admit that I wanted to spend more time with him. I do miss him. I havent really hang out with him for about 2 years or so. When he have to leave even before we really did anything, I was heart broken. The story is not as short nor simple as this. But one thing for sure, I need to repair it. He did the best he can to give me what I want. Entahlah.. it wasn't enough.

Alhamdulillah, I have a great family. At home, I cant shred a tear, nor have the time to even think about any relationship problems. Things are always.. happy. =)

2moro, I'll be going to Singapore InsyaAllah to do some shopping. Again, alone. I can only pray that things will turn out to be fine in days to come.

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