Mengapa..

Dah penat nk memikir benda yg sentiasa akan jadi masalah. Semua orang berubah dan hidup perlu diteruskan. Kalau dah susah sangat nak hidup dengan orang lain, jangan kesah la kalau orang tak pedulikan kamu.
Tapi entahlah..

I did crossed the ocean.

Tak faham kenapa perlu untuk jadi sampai macam ni.

Just give me some kind of sign.

Mungkin kita dah tak serasi lagi untuk meluangkan masa bersama. atau

Is this the right place or the right time?

Banglas & Tesco

I went to Tecso last week. There was to many Bangladesh workers that I can barely see local people working in Tesco.

They're trying to cut down the budget I supposed.

So then, when I went to look for spaghetti, I asked a Bangla worker where it is, and he shouted back to me, "No!, No!" and shoved me away. Wow.. wasn't that scary enough to tell you not to ask any Bangla worker anything..? They cant understand any Malay, or English isit? I had no idea.

But that wasnt the only thing that happened. On my way to the car, few minutes before Tesco closes, there was some Banglas (again..) were trying to chase us out from the store. (They were shouting, "Out!,Out!"). I was already on my way to leave the place la, haiyooh! But the BANGLAS didnt tell us that all the west exit was already closed! I had to turn back, to the east exit, pushing the super heavy cart, cursing the stupid Banglas all the way back to my car.

What a waste of time. Seriously, TESCO, if you guys thinks that hiring the Banglas are cheaper, for the quality of the service, its going all the way to the drain.. Somehow, I prefer to shop at Carrefour or Mydin.. Lagi senang hati kut..

13 days have passed.

It hurts a lot when I expect too much.
Reality knocked me on the head. Where did I go wrong?

Just looking at my baby sister would be one of the happiest thing to do. Sitting in front of the tv all day long on the big black sofa, how I wish I can do that. When my mom was out, I had to take care of the baby. Obviously, I cant provide the "baby food", so I ended up carrying her everywhere I go, trying very hard to keep her from crying. Cooking with one hand wasn't easy as I had to set up the dining table as well. I didn't want to complain because I should be thankful about being at home..


Home is great. There's no place like home. But I want to go out too, meet my friends, hang out, go shopping. But as the 13th day passed, things have been.. almost the same. Yeah, I went out with Sza and some of the other girls. Somehow, I still ended up shopping all alone. Ah! Pathetic-nya!!

I went thru a bad chapter with him today. and I want to write about it. It was my first time ever to raise my voice and tell him about how I felt. How angry I was with him. It ended up that, I was the one to blame and things has always been my fault.
I have to admit that I wanted to spend more time with him. I do miss him. I havent really hang out with him for about 2 years or so. When he have to leave even before we really did anything, I was heart broken. The story is not as short nor simple as this. But one thing for sure, I need to repair it. He did the best he can to give me what I want. Entahlah.. it wasn't enough.

Alhamdulillah, I have a great family. At home, I cant shred a tear, nor have the time to even think about any relationship problems. Things are always.. happy. =)

2moro, I'll be going to Singapore InsyaAllah to do some shopping. Again, alone. I can only pray that things will turn out to be fine in days to come.

Kokoni Iru yo

I'll be right here Music & Lyrics: SoulJa Baby boy, I’ll be right here I’ll be here waiting for you You know that I love you, so there’s no need for you to worry No matter how far apart we are, this heart won’t change You know what I’m trying to say, right? I’ll be waiting for you I’m a bit clumsy, and you are far away While I struggled to tell you how I feel, you were already gone Now, what remains of you is inside my albums These days, radio waves are the only way we can meet But I can’t see your smiles, Your warmth, the smell of your hair—I can't quench this longing for you in the days that pass, I desperately searched for traces of you The road I used to walk with you just echoes with my footsteps now But more importantly, how are you? Are you taking care of yourself? Damn it, the words just won’t come out I’ll send it next time, a letter from me Baby boy, I’ll be right here I’ll be here waiting for you You know that I love you, so there’s no need for you to worry No matter how far apart we are, this heart won’t change You know what I’m trying to say, right? I’ll be waiting for you The way you looked at the beach in Kamakura, how the waves swallowed the words I wanted to tell you This is really difficult, even though I’m a man--- the words just won’t come out Do you still remember? When we went to karaoke together I wanted to say to you those words in the song I sang, just as they appeared on the monitor I still can’t forget your smile From the first day we spent, just the two of us – you were cheerful as if we had met coincidentally I’ve gone on quite a tangent, but you understand, right? What I’m trying to say? Shit, there’s no more space to write I’m sorry, I’ll definitely send this next one If I had more money, or if I had a more serious job If I could give everything else up, I would definitely, for you… But please, don’t ever misunderstand, I hate to make you lonely, but… While I’m busy, we can’t talk much, but baby believe, this is all for our future But in reality, I want to see you right now, I want to hold you in my arms The place you used to sit, next to me, is empty now, there’s no one… Well, that’s not important, that’s not what I’m trying to say This is coming so late, but I’ll fill it with the words I wanted to say and send you my unsent letter Baby girl, I’ll be right here I’ll be here waiting for you You know that I love you, so there’s no need for you to worry No matter how far apart we are, this heart won’t change You know what I’m trying to say, right? I’ll be waiting for you Now I can say it to you straight I don’t ever wanna let you go

Picnic@Ueno

I think it was last Saturday that we went to the Ueno Park to celebrate Russell's 17th birthday. We had Nasi Lemak on that very cold day. Its not even winter yet, but yet it was cold. Me, Asyraf and Iman cooked the rice, Awadh made the sambal, and the juniors brought the eggs, nuts, etc. I even made an agar-agar (jelly), which was my first attempt ever to made such agar2, and the rice for nasi lemak too. Thank goodness they were fine. and it taste good. =) Afterwards, we went inside the park, and played UNO. It was COLLLLDDD....! I couldn't handle it, and we decided to go to Ueno to shop. =)) Happinesss!! Bura-bura walking, shopping for muffler, jackets.. They were very2 cheap! Everything for 680yen, but after discount 617yen! Next, KURIKURA! Photo both.. for 400yen! Well, it was my first time doing that here. I went to kurikura few times before, with my girlfriends back in Malaysia. The others played the car racing game. So do Iman. But, seeing Awadh playing made me tired. He was very good at it. So, I don't see the point of me spending 100yen for a racing game. We had fun. Haha.. this is funny. Its seems like we're doing nothing but to hang around and play. Spend money on food and games, what else? Chocolatessss... Mp3.. Gadgets... =) Well, its a part of life. We're still teenagers. We're paid to study. Our duties, to god, to the country, what else..... we have burden of our own to carry. So, why not have some fun. I don't think its a big deal. Hihi =) Cya around! Jya! Assalamualaikum.

HELP!

Sorry guys, Ive been away for quite a while now.. The examination and stuff. They're driving me pretty crazy. Plus, my laptop got on my nerves.. I've sent it away to be repaired btw. Aint got much time to spend on writing though.. I got lots and lots of things to tell... Pictures to show.. Wah! cant wait till Im done with the examsss! Im in a deficit account right now. Poket sangat2 haus. Im buying the flight ticket back to Malaysia 2moro. for 15th Dec flight. then, i'll be papakedana. Hope they still have seats left for me. This is scary!! I wanna go backkk!! Cuz its new year.. so ticket mcm habis.. VERY2 FULL! *****Again, to anyone who wants me to get stuff from Japan, ( meaning, I'll HELP you buy it, then YOU pay me) please... please do so.. I need malaysian money by the time im back. WANNA GO FOR MSIAN SHOPPING SPREEE!!***** mail me.. wtv.. pleaseee onegaiii... some stuff are super cheap here.. iPod, mP3 players.. japanese posters.. album.. anime.. u name it lah. anything that i can get for u, i'll try to get it. JYA! assalamualaikum!

Cetusan Rasa Hati...

KENAPA AKU DIUJI? 
 'Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan; 'Kami telah beriman,' sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya kami telah menguji orang-orang yang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui orang-orang yang benar dan sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang-orang yang dusta.' (Surah Al-Ankabut, ayat 2-3) 
 
KENAPA AKU TAK DAPAT APA YANG AKU IDAM-IDAMKAN? 'Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.' (Surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 216) 
 
KENAPA UJIAN SEBERAT INI? 
'Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya.' (Surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 286)  

RASA FRUST/MENYAMPAH? 
 'Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu orang-orang yang (sungguh-sungguh) beriman.' (Surah Ali 'Imran, ayat 139)  

BAGAIMANA HARUS AKU MENGHADAPINYA? 'Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu (menghadapi segala kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan), dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh, di medan perjuangan), dan bersedialah (dengan kekuatan pertahanan di daerah-daerah sempadan) serta bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah supaya, kamu berjaya (mencapai kemenangan).' (Surah Ali 'Imran, ayat 200) 'Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk' (Surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 45)  

APA YANG AKU DAPAT DARIPADA SEMUA INI? 'Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari orang-orang mu'min diri dan harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga untuk mereka' (Surah At-Taubah, ayat 111)  

KEPADA SIAPA AKU BERHARAP? 'Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain dariNya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakkal.' (Surah At-Taubah, ayat 129)
 
AKU DAH TAK DAPAT BERTAHAN LAGI!!!!! ' dan janganlah kamu berputus asa daripada rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yang kafir.' (Surah Yusuf, ayat 12) '' sesungguhnya ALLAH S.W.T bersama dengan hambaNya yang sentiasa bersabar dan patuh kepadaNya ''

Me in words??

2hb. Berbeza dengan mereka yang dilahirkan pada 1hb, kamu yang dilahirkan pada tanggal 2hb cukup tegas orangnya dan keputusan kamu sukar digugat termasuklah soal cinta. Sekali kamu mengatakan tidak, tiada siapa yang mampu mengubahnya. ------------------------------------------------------------------ 2. Pendamai - Dilahirkan sebagai diplomat. - Mereka selalu memikirkan dan peka terhadap keperluan dan perasaan orang lain sebelum mengambil kira dirinya sendiri. - Secara semulajadi sangat analitikal dan suka mengikut gerak hati. - Mereka tidak suka bersendirian. -Persahabatan adalah penting buat mereka dan berupaya mendorong mereka untuk berjaya di dalam hidup; tetapi mereka sanggup untuk bersendirian jika hubungan yang terjalin itu tidak serasi. - Golongan ini secara semulajadi adalah pemalu, mereka patut belajar untuk meningkatkan nilai kendiri (self esteem) dan meluahkan perasaan secara terbuka tanpa berselindung. Golongan terkenal yang mempunyai nombor lahir 2: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoppi Goldberg, Thomas Edison,Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Tarikh Lahir pada 2, 11 & 30 Orangnya perasa dan mudah tersinggung. Sifatnya yang suka menyendirimembuatkan dia lebih suka tinggal di rumah. Ramai orang suka bergauldenganya kerana perwatakannya yang lembut & ramah. Dia paling benci jikacintanya ditolak atau dikhianati olih orang yang benar-benar dicintainya.Namun begitu dia selalu bersikap sabar dan tidak terburu- buru dalambertindak. Sayangnya untuk urusan masa depan dia bersikap pesimis seringmengalah sebelum mencuba.Oleh itu mesti ada yang mendorongnya agar tidakterus terjebak dengan sikap pesimisnya Do you agree? Well, sebagai tuan punya badan.. boleh dikatakan saya sejutu penyataan2 tersebut. Bukan semua tapi yang negatif itu bisa menjadi satu peringatan bahawa saya ini tidak sempurna orangnya. Bukan begitu?

Hari Rayaku

Me, Iman, Kak Ina & Kak Nor.

Well, the few pictures that I managed to have on the Eid day. We went to pray at the Malaysian Embassy. Ate the Malaysian food. Great chocolate chip cookies.

But unfortunately. Kegembiraan tidak lama. Last night, almost everyone got sick. It was said to be the chicken at the embassy. I was a permanent guest of the toilet. Gila kayh, tak terkira berapa kali dah. Malu la, pasal we brought our friends all over the world to experience Malaysian raya and Malaysian food. sabu je la.. It was funny that such a thing can happen. Well, something to talk about, right? Asal takda sapa2 mati, ok kut. xP

As for today, we went to Yokohama for En. Hisham's open house. Other Petronas senior was there too. but not all.

On the way back. I got my self a Canon camera. Pelik kan? Suddenly saja. It was on a special sale day. And special points day. to celebrate the winning of Giants in a baseball competition. Bagus2. saya pun gumbira. haha.. =D

I miss the family moment, where we ask for forgiveness from our parents, siblings, other family members, etc. I miss the crazyness of my sibs, when we will go out after the Eid prayers for the old Chinese photo studio. Family photo every year. If this year in Johor, the next will be in Kedah and it repeats.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Mulia! (=

Malam Rayaku =)

"bEsok raya! bEsok raya!"
kemana bisa pergi suara anak2 kecil itu?

Im starting to miss home as everybody starts to leave. Im still waiting for a call.
Malam raya call from a family member or something. I called home, all the handphone number that I can get, none of them got thru.

Well, I had a great time tonight. The juniors, May, Husna, Tan and Rikku. We cooked 2gether. Eat 2gether. Dishes well made. But I was too 'blur' I guess. I went and change the fridge's temp to warm n the caramel pudding that we made didnt managed to.. paham2 lah. Tapi makan jugak sampai habis. Baik sungguh adik2 ku ini. x_x#


Rikku buat rendang ayam yg rasa mcm kari. Tapi sedap. Yeah it was delicious! Husna made ayam masak merah yg bewarna orange. Hihi. I made lauk sayur lemak yg dibantu oleh Khairy and Siri. ARIGATOU ne. Menolong orang yang heta memasak ini. May was very2 helpful! HONTOUNI!

Alhamdulillah. to the ONE and ONLY god, Im saying my prayers, to tell you how thankful I am for this life that you blessed me with. I had the best Ramadhan that i'd ever find, and to wonder if Im ever gonna meet Ramadhan again like an old best friend. As tomorrow will be the first day of Syawal, a day to celebrate, 'akumademo' i will still be as thankful as I can be. Insya'allah.

This year, I met a lot of wonderful people. People that change others. Great muslim Japanese, like Huda, Fatimah, Mariam, and a lot of Indonesian.( well, I did practice my Indonesian language a lot!) To love a friend, only because of Allah. and to be loved, only because of Allah.
Masya'allah. What a blessing this is to be a muslim. =)



Nasuha n Hani over Skype. (Kulim, Kedah)

www.azlipaat.com - Coming Soon.

My dad's blog - incase you're wondering what this has got to do with me. ^-^

The New Family.

KAMI - Me, Tan, Asyraf (Rikku), Awadh and Husna. THE GIRLS - Me, Kak Nor, Husna, May and Iman. (Kak Ina-not in the pic) THE BOYS - Tan, Awadh, Quhdus, Naza, Ehsan,

Siriphong, Firdaus, Russell, Asyraf and Khairy.

(adeh, ramainya..)

Sorry for the small pic. Its the largest that fits. =D Thanks to May for the pictures.

Then It Was My Birthday.

Right about 00hours, 2nd October 2007. I got a wish from Husna. and after that, few more birthday wishes from Mizah, Fanna, E.d, May, Asyraf and the list goes on.. Suddenly, Husna came dashing to my room and gave me 2 pots of flowers. -_-" (It was one of the least expected things to receive) as I love to look at flowers but I never buy one. Or ever. Oh yah, I haven't tell ya that my juniors have arrived yesterday and we brought them to eat sushi for Iftar. =) I guess they dont eat sushi that much. But we spent great time at the sushi-ya, making fun of each other (I can say that they made fun of me most of the time. daym). So there was, erm.. Sari, Khairy, Russell, Firdaus, and Qhudus. (Gosh, Im not even sure if I got their names right) As for today, if Im not mistaken, Husna, Rikku, Awadh, and Tan.. they had the night set for the celebration at a Thai restaurant for buffet dinner. The seniors came, the juniors too.. Well, 15 of us. Except that Kak Ina couldn't made it and May ( a very2 good friend of mine from Myanmar) joined us for the party. Compared to last year, there was so many of us. Seriously, too much to eat and to laugh about. and things were just, pure HAPPY. =D Thanks for the cake too, which we had to go all the way to Harajuku-park to eat 'em. Oh yah. Naza.. a very i-dont-know-what-to-call-him, gave me a gardening tool. One single gardening tool. Can be used to cook fried rice if I lost my senduk. My goodness, what was in his head lahhh!! May-san gaved me a frame. A very nice + simple frame that will make my room more lively and HAPPIER!

I had a LOT of fun. The best that it can ever be. The smiles that I want to save and potray. I'll post up the other pictures later. Its 2a.m in the morning. I cant describe how lucky I am and I should be very thankful to have these people in my life. Alhamdulillah.. They taught me to hate. To forgive. and to love. For my new juniors, Im looking forward to be having you guys as my friends, my mentors, and wtv that you guys can be. People that will make my day. Brighter. and to the Seniors that always had our back. Give us aspiration. +laughter +laughter. last but not least, my mates. Husna, Asyraf, Awadh, Tan + May.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

With all the love.

Sayonara, Assalamualaikum.

Pictures from the 'celebration'.HERE

Its just me.

The first time ever, that I felt so lonely.

The first time ever, that I felt so ditched out.

The first time ever, that I felt like washing myself out the drain.

I lost a rice cooker. I lost a friend ( which doesn't really matter.)

I lost faith in someone, who I thought were the one, that I can always count on.

I'm not blaming you for being hypocrite.

I'm not blaming you for treating me like shit.

I'm not blaming you for making my life difficult.

All the you(s) that were there for me, I feel blessed, and thankful for having you in my life. To make me stronger. To realized what am I here for.

You see me as a person that is weird.

You see me as someone that is full of her self.

You want to see me fall right on my face.

Thanks a lot. Again for making my life not so boring after all. Laughter, 2-faced smiles. My tears.

I bet you're happy.

Seeing me so pathetic.

Seeing me so negative.

Seeing me as a big head loser like this.

I can reach the for sky. or I can just stay and not to move a muscle. But I am not here to be moulded by you. No, no no. I will say whatever I want to say. I have beliefs. I'm holding on to a faith. A religion.

And as for this moment, I'm being tested. This is not the first time. The feeling is different. I can only wonder if you know what am I blabbing about.

Ramadhan. Ramadhan. As I'm fasting, please help me fast from having any feelings. I don't need them at the moment. Distract me from being so emotional. I was never like this. and nor I want to be one. Its taking too much of my time. My concentration.

My dignity.

"If I bake you an ice cream cake, would you taste it and give me a big loving smile...?"

Khutbah Rasulullah Menyambut Ramadhan

Wahai manusia, sungguh telah datang pada kalian bulan Allah dengan membawa berkah rahmat dan maghfirah. Bulan yang paling mulia di sisi Allah. Hari-harinya adalah hari-hari yang paling utama. Malam-malamnya adalah malam-malam yang paling utama. Jam demi jamnya adalah jam-jam yg paling utama. Inilah bulan ketika kamu diundang menjadi tetamu Allah dan dimuliakan oleh-Nya. Di bulan ini nafas-nafasmu menjadi tasbih, tidurmu ibadah, amal-amalmu diterima dan doa-doamu diijabah. Bermohonlah kepada Allah Rabbmu dengan niat yang tulus dan hati yang suci agar Allah membimbingmu untuk melakukan shiyam dan membaca Kitab-Nya. Celakalah orang yang tidak mendapat ampunan Allah di bulan yang agung ini. Kenanglah dengan rasa lapar dan hausmu, kelaparan dan kehausan di hari kiamat. Bersedekahlah kepada kaum fuqara dan masakin. Muliakanlah orang tuamu, sayangilah yang muda, sambungkanlah tali persaudaraanmu, jaga lidahmu, tahan pandanganmu dari apa yang tidak halal kamu memandangnya dan pendengaranmu dari apa yang tidak halal kamu mendengarnya. Kasihilah anak-anak yatim, niscaya dikasihi manusia anak-anak yatimmu. Bertaubatlah kepada Allah dari dosa-dosamu. Angkatlah tangan-tanganmu untuk berdoa pada waktu shalatmu karena itulah saat-saat yang paling utama ketika Allah Azza wa Jalla memandang hamba-hamba-Nya dengan penuh kasih; Dia menjawab mereka ketika mereka menyeru-Nya, menyambut mereka ketika mereka memanggil-Nya dan mengabulkan doa mereka ketika mereka berdoa kepada-Nya. Wahai manusia! Sesungguhnya diri-dirimu tergadai karena amal-amalmu, maka bebaskanlah dengan istighfar. Punggung-punggungmu berat karena beban (dosa)-mu, maka ringankanlah dengan memperpanjang sujudmu. Ketahuilah, Allah Tafala bersumpah dengan segala kebesaran-Nya bahwa Dia tidak akan mengadzab orang-orang yang shalat dan sujud, dan tidak akan mengancam mereka dengan neraka pada hari manusia berdiri di hadapan Rabbal-alamin. Wahai manusia, barangsiapa di antaramu memberi buka kepada orang-orang mukmin yang berpuasa di bulan ini, maka di sisi Allah nilainya sama dengan membebaskan seorang budak dan dia diberi ampunan atas dosa-dosa yang lalu. (Seorang sahabat bertanya, gYa Rasulullah, tidaklah kami semua mampu berbuat demikian.h Rasulullah meneruskan khotbahnya, gJagalah dirimu dari api neraka walau pun hanya dengan sebiji kurma. Jagalah dirimu dari api neraka walau pun hanya dengan seteguk air.h) Wahai manusia, siapa yang membaguskan akhlaknya di bulan ini, ia akan berhasil melewati Sirathal Mustaqim pada hari ketika kaki-kaki tergelincir. Siapa yang meringankan pekerjaan orang-orang yang dimiliki tangan kanannya (pegawai atau pembantu) di bulan ini, Allah akan meringankan pemeriksaan-Nya di hari kiamat. Barangsiapa menahan kejelekannya di bulan ini, Allah akan menahan murka-Nya pada hari ia berjumpa dengan-Nya. Barangsiapa memuliakan anak yatim di bulan ini, Allah akan memuliakanya pada hari ia berjumpa dengan-Nya. Barangsiapa menyambungkan tali persaudaraan (silaturahmi) di bulan ini, Allah akan menghubungkan dia dengan rahmat-Nya pada hari ia berjumpa dengan-Nya. Barangsiapa memutuskan kekeluargaan di bulan ini, Allah akan memutuskan rahmat-Nya pada hari ia berjumpa dengan-Nya. Barangsiapa melakukan shalat sunat di bulan ini, Allah akan menuliskan baginya kebebasan dari api neraka. Barangsiapa melakukan shalat fardu baginya ganjaran seperti melakukan 70 shalat fardu di bulan lain. Barangsiapa memperbanyak shalawat kepadaku di bulan ini, Allah akan memberatkan timbangannya pada hari ketika timbangan meringan. Barangsiapa di bulan ini membaca satu ayat Al-Quran, ganjarannya sama seperti mengkhatam Al-Quran pada bulan-bulan yang lain. Wahai manusia! Sesungguhnya pintu-pintu surga dibukakan bagimu, maka mintalah kepada Tuhanmu agar tidak pernah menutupkannya bagimu. Pintu-pintu neraka tertutup, maka mohonlah kepada Rabbmu untuk tidak akan pernah dibukakan bagimu. Setan-setan terbelenggu, maka mintalah agar ia tak lagi pernah menguasaimu. (Aku 'Ali bin Abi Thalib yang meriwayatkan hadits ini' berdiri dan berkata, gYa Rasulullah, apa amal yang paling utama di bulan ini?h Jawab Nabi, gYa Abal Hasan, amal yang paling utama di bulan ini adalah menjaga diri dari apa yang diharamkan Allahh.)

The imperfection.

I should be going to sleep by now. I can pass out even just to say another word. I did not slept for the past 2 days. At all.

Still, I hanvt finished 2 more compisition taht Kokubu sensei gave me last week. Yet, i got 3 more works today to send in by tomorrow.

Things are pressuring me very hard. Why cant I just blow up? just to release all this mental pain. I don't feel like telling anybody about it but my mom, as I prefer to write here. In this square-box of mine.
You can tell me everything that you want to say. But, nothing of that, things that I want to hear. I cant be move by words. Weather I'm just pure lazy or very-very hurt. I hate the fact that you are moulding me, my life, my thoughts. You're no god.

Or, shall I say, you. in fact, didn't do anything at all. I really appreciate you, trying to help me. Trying to show me that you cared. But it all seems so invisible to me, somehow. That it doesn't make any sense.

Skip this part of me if you're not ready for it. I'm not here to be what you want to see. Let me have my pace. and enjoying my space. If I'm not one of you, I guess I'm not that so perfect after all.
Let me disappear. To go back, to where i belong.
as I miss home so much.
that its hurting me. and
its carving my hard so violently.
as I cried, I'm hating myself for this insecurity.

I'm here to face the test. and this just another phase of it.

Give me Your guidance.. for me to pursue this little journey.

Kouhai. Juniors

I got this picture from my sensei in INTEC 2 weeks ago. They're going to be my junior here, starting next month i supposed. I had no idea who's who. No name were given to us. The part that i hate the most was all off them will be doing engineering, and they are ALL BOYS! I was hoping for a new shopping partner or something. A new girl that can join the usrah group. Someone NEW! Its fate that I have to face.
5 boys. Well, 4 of them will be living in ABK, but 1 very unlucky boy will have to move in to Yamabuki ( my dormitory). I hate living so far away from school. Train(40mins), or bicycle(20mins)? I have to think about that every single morning. Im been using the bicycle as it is faster than the train. But doing the "mountain biking", will get me into some trouble one day.
I wonder who will that unlucky boy be. Hahaha.

Jya mata. Sayonara.
Assalamualaikum.

Some Memoirs.

We had our Bon Odori 2 weeks ago. I had tons of fun. Thanks godness the other boys were'nt there. Super glad! That picture with Yamada-san, (our Japanese friend volunteer) was one great picture. We owe a lot to her. Arigatou!

Talking bout memoirs, i feel like posting up some pictures of my other nice memories with my friends. =)

This one was taken back when I was in Malaysia for the spring holiday. At Alia's vacation house in Port Dickson, we had tons of fun! With the pool, watching daffi on Af5, driving for ice cream and satay at night, the super dirty wheels ride (whatever they may call it). Gossiping.... =D

My ever so-lovable friends from Intec. Most of them are now studying in South Korea, doing engineering. They're this super happy go lucky people that would just make your day. I miss my McD! I think she cool. =D Not forgetting my roomates, Syifa, Izzati, and Tikah. I never thought that they would get along with me VERY WELL in such a VERY SHORT time! 2 of them are flying to Australia by next year i think. Good luck to them! and to Syifa' too! as she's doing medicine bound for... Ireland if im not mistaken. Thanks for all your support! You guys are well missed.

With my mom, my aunties, uncle and cousins. You guys are the best family that i can ever ask for! I was showered with supports, love, laughs, smiles. Thank you for everything! =))

and Hey! last but not least, my friends that went to KLIA to send me off. Even though they had classes on the same morning, they managed to come. Few of my bestfriends - Sza, Alia, Due, Darem, Daffi, Oazair, and Hafiz. Seriously, I was flattered. I miss you guys so much, and thanks for everything. To alia, thanks for the red scarf. Its very2 pretty! Sza, you know i love purple so much. everything u gave to me was purple. -_-" still, ARIGATOU!!

I guess thats the end of this episode of my memory lane. hehe. There is always someone to thank to all the time. We need each other to live. As we fight along the way, there's the fun and the journey of it. something to gain and to learn. People to meet and to love.

Jya mata ne. Sayonara. Assalamualaikum. =)

Twitter

Im on twitter now! my updates. MY TWITTER HERE.

Heroes Marathon

Im on the Heroes' last episode of its 1st season. I spent 2days long to finish this 23 episodes of tc shows. Urgh! When's the 2nd season coming??
I heard that the cast are doing a world tour right now. then, whens the 2nd season coming??!!
x_x 早く！！

Anyway, (not much of a spoiler..) but in the end, I couldnt really figure out who is the MAIN hero in this story. I gues that is why they called it heroES. Hiro Nakamura did killed Sylar with a samurai sword, but he got knocked off, then teleported himself back to the 17th centuries in Japan. Still, Hiro isnt the only hero as Peter's brother, Nathan, came to rescues him (Peter) by carying him up to the sky to be blasted off there. -_-"

And Claire was there too. I guess she did played a big part. Imagine if Sylar got her in the first place. Sylar would be perfectly immortal, which would unable Hiro Nakamura to save the world. (that would include Peter too as well.) I think that Sylar was some SERIOUS crazy maniac on the loose. How could you just cut someone's brain out using your fingers, just to get their brain (to get the super powers)?
Disgusting i supposed. But, really I would love to have Claire's power as she can mend herself in any situation, even after being dead. Cool.
Yah, Jessica/Niki did helped. She was great. I love her character very much! I was a hard one, dont you think? She had to act that as 2 different character at the same time.

Whoever that invented this story, was some man! With running imaginations, full of live, and hope. The amazing characters. The so ever telented actors. The special effects.. etc.
Everybody wants to be a superhero isnt it? This one series, did captured it.
I had fun.

Jya. Mata ne.
Assalamualaikum.

Suddenly

Lemme start with this. I had my interview practice just now. Which took me about 2 hours or so. One of the question that the teacher asked me was, "What do you usually writes about in your blog?" It made me wonder. If I had boyfriend, I would most probably be talking about how much i love spending time with him. How great and lovable he is. How I keeps on thinking about him 24/7 as what the normal "in-love" girl would do. But no. I dont have a boyfriend. Nor do I even want one. Or, If im a thinker or you know, a professional blogger. I would probably be writing about the government, the international economics status, or the latest world news. Which is very interesting, dont you think so? Well, since Im a normal girl, living in the heart of Tokyo, living my head off (alone n busy), I feel like writing about my thoughts on things that I saw. read. heard. and my feelings. I would really want to call this piece of writing as a preview to my blog for years to come. Let me start with this. Last night, there was a GREAT BIG TYPHOON (no.9) that hits Japan. To me, it was something amazing. and exciting. I went to the roof of my dormitory to face the strong wind. I cant see it. But I feel it. as if that im going to fly. It was such a strong force that had the trees to faced the earth. The violent sound did scared me. The prove of Allah's power, to show us humans that we can't really control everything thats coming. The knew the exact time when the typhoon is going to come. 9a.m in Tokyo, moving to north to ___ at 10p.m for example. They knew everything about it. But, as human. they cant stop it. Neither do us. The moral of the story? Its perfectly obvious. I just love the typhoon. (Hahaha) No lah, from what I i can say, its one of Allah's sign of his ever-great powers. Some places were badly hit by it, that caused big disasters. A test. Just a small one. Same goes with the flood crisis in North of Korea. No big deal i supposed. Its my point of view. As humans, we will be tested from time to time. As a reminder that we do not own the world, and this is not permanent. But, if your life is problem-free, you 'enjoy' 24/7, something is wrong then. For closings, I would just like to say that, i'll be having my club meeting tomorrow. Its 4:30 in the morning, and I am so dead meat if I didnt wake up by 8. Jya ne. Mata Sayonara. Assalamualaikum.

Beyond Words.

If I worship U in fear of hell, burn me in it
And if I worship U in hope of paradise, exclude me from it
But if I worship U for Your own being
Don't withhold from me Your everlasting beauty.

Negaraku. bukan Negarakuku

Dalam masa 2minggu lagi, Malaysia akan menyambut hari kemerdekaan yg ke-50. Entah kenapa, saya amat merindui tanah air saya. Malaysia, tetap Malaysia. Jalur Gemilang, lagu kemerdekaan oleh Sudirman.. sejarah perjuangan. Semangat itu sentiasa ada. Saya anak Malaysia yang membawa nama Malaysia di bumi matahari terbit ini. Belum setahun pun saya tinggalkan Malaysia, tapi selalu saja rasa nak balik. Mungkin sebab baru lagi. Baru saja tadi tengok Majalah 3 dekat worldip.tv. Tajuk utama; musim durian. Dengan ragam-ragam orang dusun mengutip durian, orang makan durian.. Lagi la rasa kemaruk nak balik. Dengan musim panas yang membakar, teringin sangat nak makan tembikai dengan sepuas hati.. Tembikai kat sini, saiz pun seciput, harga dekat 30 ringgit sebiji. Lagi-lagi makanan, sangatlah mahal. Bumi Malaysia sangat beruntung. Kenapa masih ada lagi rakyatnya yang susah sangat nak bersyukur? Kalau tak silap, Malaysia pernah riuh seketika dengan nama Namewee. Pelajar Malaysia di Taiwan yang mengutuk Malaysia dengan sesedap mulut. Demokrasi bersuara katanya.. Tak tahu lah, setahu saya, 'You cant see the picture when you're inside the frame' memberikan gambaran yang lain. Sebagai pelajar Malaysia di luar negara , saya menjadi semakin bersyukur menjadi rakyat Malaysia. Entah apalah yang dia pikir dalam kepala dia, saya tak tahu la. Kalau Taiwan tu best sangat, tak payah balik pun tak pa. Di semua negara, masalah sentiasa ada. Pemikir- pemikir yang sentiasa sibuk mencari penyelesaian, tak kurang juga dengan orang- orang yang selalu sahaja nak membantah (tapi tak buat apa-apa) dan orang yang busuk hati. Manusia, macam - macam perangai. Oleh itu, kepada yang boleh berfikir dengan waras, marilah jadi seperti pemikir- pemikir. Kita tak perlukan orang yang datang dengan masalah ( dan suka memburukkan masalah). Sebagai sebuah negara yang sedang membangun, kita akan memerlukan masing- masing. Untuk hidup. Kamu orang Cina ka, India ke, Iban ke.. Semua pun dah menjadi rakyat Malaysia. Bayangkan kalau kamu tidak ada kewarganegaraan. Kenapa? Lagi suka mahu menjadi rakyat negara lain kah? Pergi la. Dipersilakan. Tapi kalau kamu masih rakyat Malaysia, hargailah apa yang kamu ada. Saya suka hidup berbilang kaum. Mengapa tidak kamu? "Sesuatu yang kita semua patut banggakan." Saya, sentiasa akan mencintai tanah tumpah darah saya. Agama saya. Bahasa saya. Adat saya. Negara saya. "Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan Malaysia ke-50!"

Rindu Seorang Ibu

Masa itu nadi bagi seorang ibu Tangannya yang mengasuh anak sedari kecil Kasih sayang tertumpah sejak alam ruh Detik masa berlalu dan setiap nafas yang dihembuskan Hanya ada tenaga yang memaut pada jasad Dengan kehendak Ilahi Tabah menghadapi Suka dan duka Dalam lipatan sejarah masa Yang tidak mungkin dapat dilupakan Oleh seorang ibu yang berjuang di dunianya sendiri Anak-anak syurga Kehadiran mereka dalam hidup seorang ibu Seperti cahaya bulan di malam hari Seperti cahaya matahari di siang hari Maafkan anak-anak ibu Jika masa yang ada hanya untuk seketika

Happy Birthday Daia!

I bet she doesnt know I know her birthday. All the best for her. Daia! I heart you so much! HAppy 19th Birthday!! <3 (Try to give you a call tonight if I can, yah)

Tokyo Disneyland

Monday, not weekends. Probably, Less crowded.

Well, NO!

People start lining up at 7a.m.

Gila ramai orang... after the gate opens at 8*30 or so.. about 9a.m baru dapat masuk.

It was cloudy, windy...followed with stormd rains + typhoon, and then.. hot sun burning... (very2 weird weather)

More pictures will be uploaded in Multiply album, or Flickr.com. =)

I went with Yamadaさん, and her nephew Haruka. Husna, Asyraf and May.

楽しかったわよ！Thanks a lot to Haruka (for getting the FastPass), we didnt have to line up long lines!

*Lack of cash, I couldnt really get any sourveniers. Sorry guys. >_<'

10 Hours Marathon.

We were told by Kokubu sensei,
that we should study more than 10 hours per day, as today will be the first day of the 3 weeks summer holiday. Well, I found it a little bit impossible.

Morning ; 10 till 12

Evening; 1 till 4

Night; 7 till 12........... 10 hours!


HOWEVER,

Last night, I ended up doing HARRY POTTER MOVIE MARATHON instead of doing my mountain high homeworks.

Starting from the 2nd movie, Chamber of Secret, to the 3rd movie, Prisoner of Azkaban, followed by the 1st movie, Sorcerer's Stone, and lastly at 2a.m in the morn, 4th movie, Goblet of Fire.



Those cost me MORE than 10 hours, obviously. I guess, studying for more than 10 hours too, was never impossible.

I WILL learn to love my study as much as i love Harry Potter.

All the best to me!
Ja!

Blogging

I just realized that I love blogging and posting up my pictures.

I shall not stop anymore.

This makes me happy.

Lets be happy!

(Picture of Yamadaさん、Husna & Me)

My Copy

I was the first to arrived. I hate the fact that I can no longer argue with others on my rights. There's this Philipine-Jap guy who said he saw us coming, thus it makes him the first to arrive. Which is so not fair. ( NOW I HATE JAPAN..) Having on 3 ppl to line up till 6 in the morning made no sense. I was there from 1 a.m in the morning. (Which is soooo not 'HAPPENING')! The foreigners started coming at about 7a.m. The official opening; 8:01 am. The Hogwarts party in Malaysia sounds better. (Even though I heard them having some 'bad' price war going on. Tesco n Carrefour is selling the book for RM69.60. Soooo (again..) NOT FAIR!) At least my friends got some special gift. Sza got her self a Harry Potter special mug. I WAS THE 2ND ONE IN LINE! But I got nothing. I hate this. In Kinokuniya Malaysia, they gave out special edition of the book to the first FOUR!! and FREE COPY to the next 5!! Okay, I should just shut up now. Im stopping. Oh, I havnt start reading the book yet. Im afraid I just cant stop. Im on a bouncy study weeks now. ( So stop asking me about the book or TELLing me what had happened..!!)

Exams and Result

Today, the worst exam EVER!

I can only wonder what my marks would be.
読解、Ｒｅａｄｉｎｇ, 漢字、Ｋａｎｊｉ、文法、Ｇｒａｍｍａｒ．

ＥＪＵ　ｎ ＴＯＥＦＬ　results came out today.

EJU - Japanese University Entrance Exam.
And again, tanpa segan silunya, saya ingin meletakkan markah saya.. =)

日本語Ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅー　２２１　over 400
数学　Ｍａｔｈｓー　１０２　over 200
総合科目　Ｇｅｎｅｒａｌ－　１２４　over 200
Ｓｏ，its ４４７over ８００

TOEFL -The iBT format

Reading - 24
Speaking- 26
Writing- 27
Listening- 27
Ｓo, its １０４　over １２０

（i dont think I'll be doing any review on it this time. =)
はい、今からもっと頑張りたいと思ういます!!!

Desires

Uuuuu..... "Im so gonna get that!" つい買ってしまう, kata orang jepun. As the whole planet earth citizen knows about Harry Potter, im not gonna explain. (*^.^*) I spent..mmm, a lot. It is, the season.. You can find everything with HP on! What I had(already)bought; 1. 2007-2008 Calendar 2. The New DVD Set 3. Magazines (That have anything about HP in it) 4. The Movie Tickets. (4 times more expensive than in Malaysia!) 5. Set No.1 Harry Potter's Chess Collection 6. Harry Potter Schedule Book 7. Poster Set THE BOOK IS COMING!! The 7th instalment of the Harry Potter book series, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows. Well, Ive decided to go and line up for the book from night before the special hour. Kinokuniya One Hour Special. It seems that none of the bookstores around here are having any events. (Lil exception to Kinokuyina..) 拍手！ I wanna go back to Malaysia... KLCC's Kinokuniya looks more into 'the mood'.. I heard that they'll be having Hogwarts' entrance this time. COOL! The new book is gonna cost me about 3,100円. The normal price of the book in Japan, hm.. 3,990円. But, if I add up the transportation cost of going to Kinokuniya, then... forget it la. Better buy it over the internet and have it send right infront of my doorstep with the same 3,100yen. (They're having 22% off discount!) But, I want to go line up for the FUN of it! The excitement! of waiting! in eagerness.. wohoo..! \\(^0^)//

Balik ke Tidak?

WEll, something not in the 'VERY IMPORTANT' list that i should be thinking about right now... Cud be the number 183 or sumthing... Compared to tomorrow's speech. and the 'questionnaire' that i havnt do. Well, going back to the topic; My moms' delivery is due around December. Winter holiday. BUt, i wouldnt probably go back, and the next holiday after that would be the summer holiday. Around August or so, isnt it too late? Yah, the new born baby will not be so new after all... =/ He or she wouldnt probably recognise me. aite? Hmm... once again, something that is not in the 'URGENT' list; of things to think about. =D

Ya Ummi

will return oh mother لسوف أعود يا أمي

And kiss your chaste head أقبّل رأسك الزاكي

And supress (blame?) my desires أبتّك كل أشواقي

And taste the scent of your blessings وأرشف عطر يمناك

Besmirch in the richness of your feet أمرغ في ثرى قدميك

my cheek when I meet you خدي حين ألقاك

Water the soil with my tears أروي الترب من دمعي

Happy that you are aliveسرورا في محياك

How many nights did you stay up late فكم أسهرت من ليل

So that I could sleep to my content? لأرقد ملأ أجفاني

And how many times did you thirst وكم أظمأت من جوف

So you could quench my thirst with your tenderness? لترويني بتحناني

And one day I was Ill, I do not forget ويوم مرضت لا أنسى

The tears from you that were like the rain دموعا منك كالمطر

And your eyes which stayed awake وعينا منك ساهرة

fearing that I may be in danger تخاف علي من خطر

And the day we parted at dawn ويوم وداعنا فجرا

and Oh what a harsh dawn that was وما أقساه من فجر

Words cannot explain what يحار القول في وصف الذي

I felt when I abandoned you لاقيت من هجري

And you told me things which I still وقلت مقولة لا زلــت

remember throughout my life مدّكرا بها دهري

"You will never find a heart محال أن ترى صدرا

more tender towards you than mine" أحن عليك من صدري"

You will never find a heart محال أن ترى صدرا

more tender towards you than mine" أحن عليك من صدري

CHORUS obedience to you, oh want of my life.. ببرك يا منى عمري

[is what] the God of existence has instructed me to do. إله الكون أوصاني

Your content is the secret of my success رضاؤك سر توفيقي

And my love of you is the secret of my beleif وحبك ومض إيماني

And the sincerety of your prayer [for me].. وصدق دعائك انفرجت

has resolved my misfortunes and my sadness به كربي وأحزاني

My love towards you.. ودادك لا يشاطرني

no human being loves anything like it به أحد من البشر

You are the beating of my heart فأنت النبض في قلبي

And you are what lights my vision وأنت النور في بصري

And you are the tune on my lips وأنت اللحن في شفتي

My problems cease when I see your face بوجهك ينجلي كدري

To you I do return oh mother إليك أعود يا أمي

Tomorrow I rest from my journey غدا أرتاح من سفري

And a second age will begin for me ويبدأ عهدي الثاني

and the branches will blossom with flowers ويزهو الغصن بالزهر

En. Zamani's Farewell

Held in En. Rozaimi's place, the farewell party was.. well, OK.

(Dushk. I dont know how to describe it lah!)

Yah, it was a lil bit sad that his family is leaving, but we had a great gathering. Tha last one with Kak Zai n thier daughter Iqa too.

Almost all of the senior was there, and 10 of us. Thanks a lot to Kak Yati n En. Rozaimi for the great food. I do miss eating Malaysian food, ( or shall i say, eating in a very large amount..)

Oh yah, En. Zamani is going back to Malaysia to take up the position of C.E.O Mitco Japan in Kuala Lumpur. ( Congratulation!!... but we do gonna miss the family..) ---------------------------------------------------------------------

GOsh, i thought im gonna collapse after i got home. But its 4a.m in the morning, listening to Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. Shhot! Subuh..

I should really stop this. Harry Potter is gonna drive me crazy. I slept at 6a.m the night before reading the book. (As i forgot to upload new chapters in my iPod)

Going to have my Speech Exam in a day n not preparing anything, i am putting my self in a very 'yabai' situation. Exams... exams.. n more of them coming, I stopped, Studying.

I hate pressures.

My Thousands Pictures

well, when I say so, it means, theres no words for it. I mean, it cud be millions of it.. Infinity, かも。

VIEW MY PICTURES HERE.

from Malaysia to Japan, I walked, cycle, drive and fly.. (no swimming yet though..) priceless views.

Bad Day

For having "My Worst Day Ever" and "My Worst Day Ever II", was too much to talk about. I'd rather stay put and think, where are all the weeping are leading me to. But I didnt managed. The night I arrived here from Malaysia, I went loco. I felt deaf. "Where are all the happiness? The laughs? The words that I can undestand?" I almost killed the Tv. and the radio too. I felt sick of the languange. I blame everything. I miss my mom like crack. As in, suddenly. With no sign of it at all that I would come. I wasnt ready to go back at that time. Wasnt ready yet to let go. Being here was what I had always wanted. But being crazy, wasnt one of it. The idea of quitting this, and go home was pretty crazy. I guess things do happen and it teaches us a very great lesson. I didnt know that its a 'norm' syndrome after the 'Balik Malaysia' holiday to feel soo stuck up. "What I thought was the cure, turned out to be the poison." But its okay, life goes on. And yah, you know its hard. We all will face it someday.

Kebolehan

Selama ni punyala susah sangat nak post up blog disini.. I gave up. The maple almond ice-cream with famous amous biscuit topping filled me. Had lunch in UiTM, Mizah's culinary friend had to serve people and we have to pay RM15. Main course, beef steak spaghetti. Complete with the appetizer, and desserts. Ngeee... Went to INTEC, met Sepez. Aa.. rindu oo sama dia tu. Rasa macam lama sangat tak jumpa. We sent him back to Cendana, chat a bit here and there.. Aaaa... sekejap saja.. chomel la dia tu. Anyway, later on i went to Akasia. The 702 Girls! Cik Bedah, Timah n Minah! Still have 10++ days left. Cant wait for this weekend for Alia's Holiday House Hang-out! Yay!

Aneh..Pelik..変

Page ini sudah berzaman tidak dapat dibuka. DOink la// I've been writing in Multiply instead. Sana lagi best i guess.. Sebab dapat tulis all the japanese words. Saya menghitung hari.. bersedia untuk pulang! Tapi sebelum itu ada 'belambak2' test dan ujian. Speech contest. dan macam2 lagi.. =D

"Nanti balik nak makan ni... nak makan tu.."

I bought tons of food. Even though i know that im going back in about 10 more days. LOL!

Oh yah! The Koreans dah fly.... Menjadi jiran saya disini.. (macam dekat sangat je..)

Mizah.. jangan bersedih.. Next year we'll go to Korea together!!

Helping Hands

As you know, my grammar is all over the place. Im trying to polish my writing skill. But unfortunately, I have'nt been speaking english regularly nor read any real english book. So, the comment bar is there for a reason you know. English, facts.. Anything.. Opinion, views... I know this is my blog. As im writing to talk to myself. (and the world) Just lend me a thought. Thats it. Onegai.

AfterGlow

It went sky high. Even though i've been controling it. like crazy.
Its getting expensive. even though ive been choosing for the cheapest price.(like crazy too.)
My phone bill.
My flight ticket.

Things keep on coming. It never stops.
ONE-after-ANOTHER.

My laptop's condition.
My studies, my results..

Smile. .
I.am finding the best solution.
To think rationally in my decision.
To know that its a test from Allah as im sailing my way.
Thru this journey burden with a mission.

As i know. In HIS verses saying "so.verily, with every difficulty, there is relief."

There's a brighter side to this.
I went places. Views i never thought I'll ever see.
To know a person to the extent that i can really have faith in.

Deciding greater steps in this life. Between which. and which.
Why. and more of why(s). Not forgetting, what? and a lot of what??

There's a price i must pay. For not knowing.
For not paying more attention.
But i keep on wondering if its ever going to end.
(Of course its not)

Im relying it all to The One.
Try . to push my self to the limit.
To know that Im really trying and not just complaining about life.

Nihongo! Nihongo!

　　I tried doing my blog in japananese character. But it wont show up! I want to practice them at the same time im doing this. 　　Its been 2 weeks now since my last class. We're on a winter break. Yeah, i have to write a nikki (diary) to tell what i did for the holiday. It sux. As i forgot a lot of bunpo (grammar) already, and even kanji (chinese character). Wierdly, I kinda miss school. I hate growing fat in my room. I've been eating bars n bars of chocolate that i bought for a month supply. Its lonely and boring. 　　I've been to places, the island on the south.. the mount on the north. But I want to go places that i really can appeciate others more. Speaking, socializing, making friends.. I am. But in a very different way. I tend to be in the group and not saying a word. Scanning.. scanning.. and more scanning.. Im weird, arent I? 　Anyway, I bought a jishio (electronic dictionary) already. It cost me ￥25,780yen to be exact together with the casing. Both are blacks. Hmm.. In times, there'll be cartoons and glitters on it. U'll see.. I'll make it as happy as it can be. Lol! 2moro.. School! Cant wait. Hope I can wake up a.s.a.p! Ah, btw.. Im getting a digital piano and a microvawe oven. And a television too. Hoho...

Discovery

Mizah called me using her Skype credit just now. I felt so relieved. Last night i called my mom at the public booth for about 3hours! That cost me about 60msia bux! Till 2a.m in tha morn.. it was quite scary with all the old drunk looking man in the streets, peeing everywhere they like.. Making noises.. Hmm.. look what those alcohol can to do human beings. There's an obvious reason why Allah S.A.W restricts us to have it. Im thankful. But in this so called developed world, they think its cool to have it. It what they call so-up-to-date. Its become part of their life. Whatever. We're getting worse than the Jahiliyyah in the past. Its very shameful that even muslims do even so. I went to Hachiouji today. There's this talk on one of Sayyid Qutb's book. I dont remember the tittle in arabic, nor i know it in english. (Should have more raisins and nuts nowadays...) I learned a lot. We only cover tha mukaddimah (introduction) and the first chapter. I wonder how much i will earned if i have the book! The kalimah 'La Illaha Illallah..' (I hope i spelled it right) have soo many impacts on the sahabat that it moves them so powerfully to work and discover on Allah's path. Aah... I hate this. I want to write more about the knowledge on Islam that I've learned. But I never learn Islam through English. Thus making it hard for me to translate the words. I've promised myself to have my blog in English since im doing quite horrible lately. I cant even say a full sentence of English. Its always a lil bit of Malay, Japanese.. and aaaaa...

Flipping Back To Move On.

When u wanna start to do your homework, or revise for any exams.. u always flipped back all your old notes, test papers and such in order to excell in the coming one rite? Thats what Im doing now. Its the year 2007. But, Im flipping back my life history to move forward. In things such as music, books, friends and even food. With a little bit of change and twist, to add up some new feeling and new life in it. Im going back to trance music.

• Boten Anna by Basshunter. A Sweedish trance music recomended by Nishreen. Thanks babe!
• J'ai Pas Vingt Ans by Alizee (Benny Remix). French sang trance. a mesmerizing nice music. Thanx to the french PET. =P

I've downloaded the mp3 version of all the 6 books of Harry Potter. It was too heavy for me to bring it here. And its way too expensive to get one. I decidede to have em dloaded in audio. I wonder. Will affects me in terms of feeling the book? learning more new english words? It does make a lot of difference right? All of the audio... hmm.. abt 3gig. LoL.. I'll be crashing my laptop sooner or later..