Mummy in Sabah.

Mummy (my mom yer..bukan mumia) is all the way in Sabah right now.
4 days since friday, doing BTN (Biro Tata Negara).

She just gave birth, last Disember 6th. Now, she's leaving Nafeesa at home with all the other (my siblings) to take care of the baby. Im here, Naim, (the 2nd) is currently in Sibu, Sarawak for his PLKN (3 months of national service). So, the biggest at home would be Nadzmi.(yg sangat tak boleh harap walaupun dah besar gajah, 16 thun)

So, are you shock? Do I sound like im angry?

Not really.

I know they can take care of Nafeesa, and my mom shouldnt be worry about a thing.
My dad was on Yahoo Messanger today, and I asked him hows things at home. Well, Nadzrin (4th one, 14 thun）bathed her, Nassry(6th, 12thun) made the milk and Hani(8th, 7thun) put her to sleep. Done.

Nasuha, (7th, 9yrs old) is the best at calming the baby(dodoi)! That I can assure u. He's very good at it! Pandai tau budak ni masak.. he made the best telur mata, pancakes.. yang ini boleh harap. =D

These boys are actually at their best behaviour when mummy's not around. They'll clean up the house, do the laundry, cook for themself, do the dishes.. everything. Independent. But when mummy is at home, they'll play online games, Wii.. 24/7!

As for today, my dad had some meeting in Shah Alam and he sent the 3 girls to my auntie's house. Now, they want to stay there for the night. Hani wants to play there with the other cousins. Just great.

I wonder how isit to be at home now. Without me, mummy, naim, nafhani, nazneen, nafeesa.
Its like, half full.. or half empty.
I hate the feeling so much! Even when there's only one of us is not at home. I just cant help it. mcm ada yg hilang.. padahal sorang je.

So, just imagine. I can only see them from the CCTV on the internet.
Im all deaf from their voices. I miss the time when they fight, when they play.

Yet, when Im back home, with them, I'll just say
"Can you guys please shut up an go away?! Bisinglahh!!"

Haha.. typical human being.

You never know what you've got till it's gone

What is Zina of the Heart? (Zina Hati)

Since I just learned about this topic yesterday, I don't think I can really explain about it in English, nor can i do it better in Malay.

So, its going to be some 'rojak' again this time, and why not if it's easier for everyone to understand..

Now, let me start with this. Last night, on MSN, I was telling a friend about some 'mixed-up feeling' problem that I used to have quite some time ago. Its nothing personal, and I just want to share that so-called normal teenagers dilemma with him. It's actually not a very good thing to be thinking about, you know "the-other-gender", because in Islam, having a non-muhrim as a 'special' friend is a big no-no.

Thus, he suggested that I should go search the meaning of Zina Hati instead, to kill time. (or shall I say aktiviti yg lebih berfaedah ^-^)

So, what is Zina Hati (heart)? I thought its a feeling where, you imagine or desire to do zina with that someone, and that's just it.

Obviously, that doesn't sound right, and i never thought of myself having done 'zina hati'.ever! NO! Like, eww!! But, I searched again.. going through pages and pages of blogs, websites.. anything on Zina Hati. and found few 'stories' about it.

Unfortunately, its in Malay,(and its quite long, but very interesting!) and I have no intention whatsoever to translate it.

Zina Hati Story 1 
 
Zina Hati Story 2 (Recommended!)

I've forwarded those stories to some of my friends, and Iman gave me some quotes and links about it on msn.

"Tetapi, yang paling bahaya ialah, apabila kita merindui Si Dia, memikirkan-mikirkan tentangnya, kecantinkannya, ketampanannya, sifat penyanyangnya, betapa kecintaannya kepada kita, zina tetap berlaku. Biarpun tidak bersua dari segi pancaindera, hati boleh berzina. Tidak mungkin sesuatu hubungan percintaan itu tidak melibatkan penglihatan, percakapan, pendengaran dan perasaan. Sudah terang lagikan bersuluh, percintaan sebelum berkahwin dan ber ‘couple’ adalah menghampiri zina dan hukumnya adalah HARAM."

-thanks iman!


======================================

Dalil yang lebih kuat menetang hubungan percintaan ini terdapat dalam Surah Al-Israa’(17) ayat 32:

“Dan janganlah kamu mendekati zina; sesungguhnya zina itu adalah suatu perbuatan yang keji dan suatu jalan yang buruk.”

Ini adalah dalil-dalil daripada Al-Quran. Bagaimana pula dengan hadis rasul kita, Nabi muhammad S.A.W? Dalam hadis, baginda rasulullah telah memperincikan jenis-jenis zina. Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a katanya,


Nabi S.A.W. bersabda : “Sesungguhnya Allah Ta’ala telah menetapkan nasib anak Adam mengenai zina. Tidak mustahil dia pernah melakukannya. Zina mata ialah memandang. Zina lidah ialah berkata. Zina hati ialah keinginan dan syahwat,sedangkan faraj (kemaluan) hanya menuruti atau tidak menuruti" 

Hadis kedua; Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a., dari Nabi S.A.W. sabdanya: “Nasib anak Adam mengenai zina telah ditetapkan. Tidak mustahil dia pernah melakukannya. Dua mata, zinanya memandang. Dua telinga, zinanya mendengar. Lidah, zinanya berkata. Tangan, zinanya memukul. Kaki, zinanya melangkah. Hati, zinanya ingin dan rindu, sedangkan faraj (kemaluan) hanya mengikuti atau tidak mengikuti.” -

Taken from a VERY GOOD article from iluvislam.com "Nak couple boleh tak?" (Sangat recommended!) - Jawapan terhadap masalah zina hati.

I'll add up more later on about this topic. Hope it helps! =) Daa! Saya harap, benda ni sedikit sebanyak dapat membantu rakan2 semua untuk menjauhi perkara yang dilarang dalam islam..

Were we like them? When a 10-years-old called you on YM.

Someone called me on YM. I had no idea who'se email isit. Without no hesitation, I answered it. 

  Me: Ni siapa?  
unknown: Saya Zahi.
Me: (Zahi mana pulak ni.. suara mcm budak darjah satu) Eh, Zahi umur berapa tahun?
Zahi: 10 tahun..
Me: (mak eh, 10 tahun dah call aku kat YM?) Mmm..Zahi tak sekolah ke?
Zahi: Sekolah, pukul 2 nanti pegi.
Me: (sekolah petang..? sekolah agama kut..) Dah siap nk pegi skolah dah ke? Baju dah siap? Beg dah siap? (garangnye aku betanya.. mcm ckp dgn adik sendiri.. biasala nadia..)  
Zahi: Dah siap.
. Me: Sekolah agama ya? Nama sekolah apa?  
Zahi: Tak tahu. tak tahu nama sekolah.
Me: (hahh? tu pun tak tahu??) Kat sekolah belajar bahasa arab kan?
Zahi: Ha ah. Tapi tak tahu.
Me: Ape la semua pun tak tahu ni.. Apa nak jadik..?  
Zahi: .........(tidak berkata apa2)  
Me: (nak cakap ape dgn budak ni..? saya blur sebentar. kalau ckp dgn adik sendiri bleh tanya pasal Wii ke.. apa ke) Iman on the other line suruh tanya kalau dia ada abang yg kakkoi(smart). Zahi, mak ayah tahu ke kamu pakai YM ni call orang yg tak kenal?
Zahi: Tau je..
Me: (budak ni, sepatah tanya, sepatah dia jawab) Mak ayah mana? Kerja?
Zahi: Ayah tengah tidur kat blakang. Petang nanti keje kut. Mak keluar.
Me: (budak apakah ini..? 10 tahun dah main YM. saya masih taktau nk ckp apa2)
Zahi: Kamu main myspace tak? Add la saya.  
Me: (hah?? myspace pulak? dia pakai YM ni pun aku dh tkejut. ni suruh add myspace??) Ade je.. add la. nah email. Kamu online ni, tak cakap2 dgn kawan2 ker?  
Zahi: Mana ada kawan2 saya online.
Me: (memanglah.. adik aku online pun main game tak henti2. tapi online la) (since iman suruh tanya, aku tanya jugak) Adik beradik berapa ramai? Abang? Kakak?
Zahi: 3 orang. 2 abang. satu 20 tahun, satu 16 tahun.
Me: (bongsu rupenye..abang pun sama umur dgn aku. sambil2 itu aku pergi menge'check' myspace budak ini) Zahi, dah pukul 2 dah ni.. kenapa tak pegi skolah lagi?
Zahi: Kejap lagi boleh pegi, skolah start pukul 2:30.
Me: Pegi skolah macam mana? Bas? Jalan kaki?  
Zahi: Naik basikal.
Me: Dahla.. keluar la cepat, nanti lambat pulak pegi skolah.  
Zahi: Takpe lambat. Tak kesah.  
Me: Mak tak marah ke pegi skolah lambat. Tak elok tau lambat2 ni. Allah pun marah. (saya dengan perasaannye telah membebel pada dia.. >_<*)  
Zahi: Mak tahu je. Mak tak kesah. selalu je lambat pegi skolah.
Me: Dah2.. pegi skolah sekarang. saya nk masak ni. Bye.. Saya terus end the call.

And 10mins later, dia telefon balik. 

Me: La.... dah pukul berapa ni, tak pegi2 skolah lagi. (It was already 2:25) Kamu memang tak nak pegi skolah yerr??
Zahi: Nak pegi la ni. tgk la myspace saya. bye! 

Omg, budak ni.. dari keluarga mana datangnya dia? Baru 10 tahun dah kerja duduk depan komputer. Seingat aku, tak pernah la aku sibuk2 nk bcakap dgn orang yg tak dikenali dekat ym or sibuk2 suruh org add myspace masa umur 10 tahun dulu.  

Haha.. Inikah aktiviti anak2 kecil zaman kini? I checked his myspace. There, he have tons of pictures of him posing like other normal 'myspace' teenager. He looked so young! He's even younger than my twin brothers! and one of the picture even have a caption that writes "thinking of my love" where he poses with great 'emo'!. The way he dress up, not like any other 10 year old (that i know).

What is happening to young Malaysians? Anak2 bangsa sudah disuap dengan benda2 sebegini. Main myspace, gambar penuh posing sakan.. Pegi sekolah malas. Tanya belajar apa pun tak tahu. Itu baru darjah 4! Emak pegi mana?bapak tidur kat belakang... adeh. 

Saya pulak yg sedih. Im actually quite worried about my siblings too. What will they grow up to be? Will they be the perfect muslims that our prophet had been praying about? This generation doesnt look too good at all to me.

I can only pray, for their well-being. to hope that they will always 'jaga' their 5 times prayers. To behave as a good muslim. Amin.

Lampu Tidur by Fynn.Jamal

lampu tidur, bicarakan sejujurnya pada dia lampu tidur, malam terlalu gelita tanpa dia takkah dia tahu aku celaru apa dia lupa pada janjinya? lampu tidur, tidurku tiada makna takkan lena lampu tidur, bilakah akan ada suara dia takkah dia tahu aku celaru apa dia lupa pada janjinya? lampu tidur, hanya cinta hatiku menenang pilu suaranya dan petikan sang gitarnya membelai nyawa...ku

SnowFell

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw small white particles that looked like feathers falling from the sky. It was so beautiful. I spent about 10mins staring outside, when i realised that I was already late for school. ( Yeah, I was late)

For a first timer when it comes to snow, I was a little bit lost whether I should ride the bike, or take the train instead. Well, snow does come from water particles after all, and I could get wet. After few seconds of some stupid 'thinking', I decided to take the train.

I just love the snow when it falls on me. It feels so... romantic. It was very cold at that time, so I had to cover myself up like a mummy. ( But a very colourful and flowery one)

They fall.. from the sky, mesmerizing my view.
But, they melt as soon as they reach the ground.
Sometimes the rain falls, together with them.
Too bad, they aren't here to stay.

About 2-3pm or so, the snow stopped falling. It was good enough for me. I was satisfied. (and still am). Its better than none, as I've been waiting for about 1 year and a half now since I reached Tokyo. There were no snow at all last year.

The Japanese were very pleased to have the snow at last. They forecasted it to fall last Saturday, then, last Sunday, then, last Monday... It never did. I kinda lose faith in their weather forecast somehow. You know, they were always right when it comes to weather forecasts.

But today, I couldn't be happier!! They're happy too. Just like us, gaijin. The so-called first timers.

-the end-

Watch the snow fall. Check!

Mereka itu..

Sleeq is Syarif, 18, and Alif, 18, (last year) who are cousins and TP students from Temasek Business School and Temasek Design School, respectively.

Music came very naturally for the duo, whose parents played a big part in influencing their love and passion for songwriting and singing.

For Alif, he started off because he was inspired and motivated by the songs he heard, and by the artistes he knew."After listening to a lot of artistes, I asked myself what would it be like producing my own music and that got me experimenting with singing.

something new for today..

lots of LOVE <3!!

Drolsss.. over SLEEQ!

Omg, I cant believe that Im actually falling for this RnB/Rap group from Singapore! Thier music is not bad at all! and they are, SUPER ADORABLE!! How can people not love them? I had no idea if they're already very famous there or what, cuz I just browsed thru some music pages in Myspace. and fell hard! They are Sharif and Alif, that I think would be about 19yrs old this year. Aduh.. mereka sungguh la comel.. *^-^*blush* "Why do you have to be so cute~ Its impossible to ignore you~" It started with this... ( Almost But ) and then, this...(the song at the end, Masanya) ~aaa... they're taking my breath away~~ and it ends with, this one. (Pilihlah Aku) thus, its official that I am soooo into them! They dont lipsync.. and they have this song, Desiree, at their MySpace page. You can check 'em out. They dont sound like some Asian singin English. They are good. They're just, perfect cute boys. haha... =) Daa~~ (sorry, saya masih seperti kanak2 perempuan yg lain.. ngehehe..)

Waiting for you..

Link

I've waited for you. Days and nights passed me by. Still, i want to wait for you. We don't have anything together. Just a friendship that i hope will last forever. Somehow, i feel like I'm waiting for 'the one'. Are you that someone special to me? I cant even answer that. But the feeling of having you around makes me feel like I'm flying over the rainbow, jumping on a trampoline that bounce lightly, supporting me. It feels like, I'm in love.

But, I know that its wrong. I know that I shouldn't have those mushy feelings. But I can't help myself. I just want to love you with all my heart. Very far away from where you are. Its OK. As I don't want you to know. I don't want you to love me. I'm good this way. I'm good with us. Just us, as friends.

but nights keep on telling me that this is stupid. there's no point waiting for him. waiting for something across the ocean to be mine. this heart ache so much. it hurts badly as time runs.

You're there. But I cant see you. I cant talk to you. Somehow, I can feel that you're here. ~ I want to feel your warmth in this chilling January. It kills to be alone. It kills to be thinking about you, and refraining my self to say that, I love you.

Pictures UP!

I've uploaded almost all the pictures that I took when I was in Malaysia. Enjoy! Its in my Multiply page. Eg.Friends, Shopping and hanging out. Malaysia.

Its not wrong.

It was the general subject class, that suddenly a chinese guy(from china) across my seat asked Husna wether she had her Asar prayer already or not. Wah... is he reminding her of her prayers? What do you think? He's just being nice? mengambil berat? Do you know why he asked? hehe... Usually we'll rush right after the class to pray Asar, as the Asar time starts in the middle of the class and finishes 15mins after the class ends. So, we barely have time to chit-chat with him after class, as we have to go to the basement floor to pray. It was around spring, and the praying time will change as its already winter now (the sun sets earlier). Actually, it was the 2nd time that we went late for class. Asar is about 2:26 and the class starts at 2:30pm. Pray first, then go to class. But having that guy, asking such question, dont you find it a little bit akward? It seems like he wants to track our praying time. So what?-isnt that great?? Compared to having muslim friends that doesnt even know that praying is wajib( a thing that you MUST do). Tinggalkan solat dengan sesuka hati, main qadha2 je.. lagi la macam nak kiamat. Anyway, happy new year to all my muslim friends. Salam Maal Hijrah 1429. Semoga Allah memberkati orang2 mukmin yang beriman. =) Make a resolution. Repair your broken parts. Insya'Allah you'll do fine. Jya! Assalamualaikum.

Berakhirnya sebuah cerita.

I knew this feeling would come. But I didnt prepare myself for it. Dunia macam terhenti seketika. I cant do anything but to cry, not knowing why. I arrived at about 7;30 am this morning. (8thjan) I dont feel like going to school or meeting anyone. Badan terasa sangat letih. Still, the tears doesnt stop. I miss my mom soo bad. I want to call her, but im out of phone card. Im afraid that even if I can do so, I cant say a thing but to cry. Im feeling so miserable right now. I guess, this is what people call home sick. Japan. Cold like always. The people, are colder than ever. Looking at their faces staring back at me, with no stated feelings whatsoever, I felt soo lonely. It wasnt that easy to pull and carry some 30kg bags okay.. Still, no one helped me. I was struggling crazily with them, carrying the bags all the way to my room on the 3rd floor. I dont feel so good now.

Shopping perlu diteruskan..

-lifeblog- Every time I withdraw duit, mesti hari itu pun habis semua jugak. Semalam, tukar Singaporean dollar, dapat bout 300ringgit. Habis semua kat OU. Hari ni tukar 10,000yen dapat bout 292ringgit sahaja pun habis semua dekat jalan TAR. Books, telekung, tudung, shoes.. in just about 3 hours. Parking pun sangat mahal kayh.. 9ringgit kena! Tapi kerana saya telah shopping dgn happynyer.. hehe.. =o) gumbira sahaja.. Tomorrow would be the first day of school for my siblings. Its almost midnight, but they're not sleeping yet. Keep on fighting with each other. Sheshh! Esok nak buat pedicure, then pgi tgk movie kut. But im not sure who to go out with, since i dgn gatal tangannya telah mengajak 2 orang ke 2 tempat yg berbeza.. nguang2.. n 2moro pun nk keluar main squasy. yay!

Happy New Year 2008

Me and Aqilah. with Sza, Mizah and Arif celebrated New Year's Eve at The Curve.

We didnt manage to snap much pics. Cuz I left my camera at home, and now its broken. But, I think that these pics are good enuf. We did some window shopping, and Mizah had a very messy dinner at Carls Jr., and then we walked all the way from OU to The Curve.

It was my first time celebrating new year in The Curve. I didnt expect the crowd at all.. Seriously, it was chaos. Teenagers were spraying things at each other.., noisy+ annoying attention seekers and bitches with scanty clothing.., what else.. "monkeys" dancing on the pavements.. It was weird to be seeing parents and small children there. Its a no-no place for kids!

Young stupid+ jahiliyah Malays drinking.. Smooching.. what else.. urgh!! The after party was a disaster to me. I cant stand the scene. Rubbish everywhere. I left The Curve at about 3a.m after meeting Ayin. He and his friends.. were DRUNK. Eww.. they reminded me of the japanese after work on Friday night.

Malaysia, what has happened to you? Corrupted by the oh-so Hadhari. Or shall I say, the "new way" of islam. Oh yah.., (nak lari topik sikit..) I went shopping at SOGO yesterday, and I couldnt find anything that 'fits me'. Hahaha... ( Im not THAT fat kayh..) It was the designs. T-shirts, T-shirts.. scanty clothes.. even the long sleeves are short as they reveal the 'ass' badly. x-x"

Look, dont you think that whoever designed those clothes actually have a serious power to control what we wear? People buy whatever that is on the shelves. The cheaper the better. Not many people would really care to design what they "want" to wear. (Hope you get what i mean .. {^o^}v

I shall continue later on. Cya!