He Gives It All

Dear god,

Why do I always get what I want? I am scared to death for this. Where did I go right? Or where did I go wrong?

You give me everything I want, and everything I need, and I do know that You too have all the power to take everything back from me. It's all yours to even begin with.

You test me with laughter and tears,
with gratitude and grief.

You test me with health and pains, with happiness and loneliness.

I am no superwoman in this battlefield.

I failed - and I got up to give it another try.
I lost - and I got up to give it another fight.

You are always here when I need You. But I am horrified to think of the times that I will abandon You because I know that You will always take me back.

I want to always remember You - Your peace. But I know that I need to always be sober from my old dreams and get back on my feet to face the fact.

The reality that-
I am scared.

What is this test? I cannot read You. I know nothing of the world, I know nothing of the life.

Yet, You give it all. All that I've ever want, all that I've ever need.