Thursday, December 28, 2006

Cold and Falling

Cold and Falling Originally uploaded by nadiahazli.

On Mount Hakuba Iwatake or whatever which one goes first.. Nagano. Im learning very hard to play how to snowboard. I came with a thought of playing skii, but snowboard looks safetier to me. =) I didnt want to go at first. But having the thought of someone had paid first for me, it was rude to pull out last minute.

I can say that i went alone. None of the girls wanted to join this. Its okay, as Im getting used to do things on my own now. I make short videos, took pictures, go briskwalking at night, watching the ever-so-beautiful stars that are invisible to in the sky of Tokyo.

As i arrived on top of that mountain, put on the board.. And way I go down to the egde. Rikku teached me how to stand n im all on my own after that. Seeing how others do it. I followed blindly. I fell on my ass, my back, my hand... Im in pieces. Bruises all over.. But the worst part was how i felt so crushed. My heart is like the-ever-so hard-ice. Im keeping it very secure in place so that Im never gonna breakdown.

At the end of the first day, I fell on my hand. I hurt so bad that i just couldnt move a bone. I tried to recover but it took me too long to realize that everybody had already went back. The same thing happened on the 2nd day n so the 3rd one. I told myself that Its only my feeling that people are pulling away from me. Is that so? My mind gave my heart a very big smile. To tell my self that its just a stage of my life and things will happened.

I almost lost my phone. I can hear the voices telling me how a bad-careless person i am. How i cant even keep myphone before i receive my first phone bill. I cant cry. I just smile."I'll pay for it. I'll pay for it", I said to myself. I dont know what to do. But I keep on smiling. As i went down for another run, I bumped into Rikku, and breakdown. I had to tell him that i lost my phone. I cried, got up, and went straight down. Masya'allah, The God is, The MOST Merciful n The MOST Kind. As i reached back up, Rikku handed me my phone. A lil bit crooked, the srceen cracked. But its all okay. I thanked Allah countlessly.

Thru my 3 days snowboarding experience and journey, tons of great lessons learned. Test of patience, bravery, and courage. Spiritually and mentally, Im a way better person today.

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