Cold and Falling

Cold and Falling Originally uploaded by nadiahazli.

On Mount Hakuba Iwatake or whatever which one goes first.. Nagano. Im learning very hard to play how to snowboard. I came with a thought of playing skii, but snowboard looks safetier to me. =) I didnt want to go at first. But having the thought of someone had paid first for me, it was rude to pull out last minute.

I can say that i went alone. None of the girls wanted to join this. Its okay, as Im getting used to do things on my own now. I make short videos, took pictures, go briskwalking at night, watching the ever-so-beautiful stars that are invisible to in the sky of Tokyo.

As i arrived on top of that mountain, put on the board.. And way I go down to the egde. Rikku teached me how to stand n im all on my own after that. Seeing how others do it. I followed blindly. I fell on my ass, my back, my hand... Im in pieces. Bruises all over.. But the worst part was how i felt so crushed. My heart is like the-ever-so hard-ice. Im keeping it very secure in place so that Im never gonna breakdown.

At the end of the first day, I fell on my hand. I hurt so bad that i just couldnt move a bone. I tried to recover but it took me too long to realize that everybody had already went back. The same thing happened on the 2nd day n so the 3rd one. I told myself that Its only my feeling that people are pulling away from me. Is that so? My mind gave my heart a very big smile. To tell my self that its just a stage of my life and things will happened.

I almost lost my phone. I can hear the voices telling me how a bad-careless person i am. How i cant even keep myphone before i receive my first phone bill. I cant cry. I just smile."I'll pay for it. I'll pay for it", I said to myself. I dont know what to do. But I keep on smiling. As i went down for another run, I bumped into Rikku, and breakdown. I had to tell him that i lost my phone. I cried, got up, and went straight down. Masya'allah, The God is, The MOST Merciful n The MOST Kind. As i reached back up, Rikku handed me my phone. A lil bit crooked, the srceen cracked. But its all okay. I thanked Allah countlessly.

Thru my 3 days snowboarding experience and journey, tons of great lessons learned. Test of patience, bravery, and courage. Spiritually and mentally, Im a way better person today.