君、どうする？

Nadiah's favourite flower saying final goodbye.

心配のない日々がいつくるのだろうか？

一段ずつ上り続けても、死ぬまで終わりのない悩みだよ。

一瞬美しくなっても 、老化するのは当然だ。

その美しさを守っていけるのは自分だけなのか？

そばに居ながら大丈夫って言うだけじゃ足りないよ。

傷ついてもまだ自分で立ち上げるさ。そう、約束する。

離れていても、帰ってこなくても、everything will be alright.

もう泣かないから、 괜찮아요（ケンチャナヨ）。

誰も知らない未来が、今から描こう。

もう戻らない、振り向いても意味がないよ。

そうなの？

一人でいいの？

やり直せるなら、じゃ、もう一度やってみよう？

好奇心満々の自分が怖いのないの。

いつまでも足りない気。

世界の果てまで 、「いいよ」と君に言い続ける。

二人で頑張れる。

一生そばに居てあげる。

自分がどうにも「大丈夫」って言える。

次のステップどうする？

勇気のある君に待ってる。

[PHOTO-LOG] Little Us

To keep things posted even when I'm super tired or busy, I'm just gonna post random photos in my phone and talk about them.

----

Me and Mommy. She said that my dad bought her the dress. Which is one in few. I think it's really pretty. I love this picture.

Me holding Fikah (cousin), Alham (cousin) and Naim.

Naim and baby Nadzmi. They were so cute!

Nadzmi embracing baby Nadzrin.

I took these photos when I was cleaning the boxes from our old house that was infested by 'anai-anai'. Many of the pictures were destroyed.

They never made it online. ^^

This is like, debut photos of me and my brothers when we were small. Where are these cute kids now? I miss them so much.

Jungle Roadtrip with ayah's Pajero.

We traveled so much. We went to Singapore a couple of times, and I love it when we'd go into the jungle for camping! My dad was in this 4x4 thing with his Pajero and we'll go deep into the jungle and cross the rivers, and yes, we got to see wild animals!

In Singapore. Naim at the back, while ayah is holding baby Nadzmi. I remember that dress so much. I look like Nazneen!

Nadzmi loves the little Nadzrin so much.It feels really weird that I don't remember seeing these two kid talking to each other nicely when they were growing up.

Our twin brothers, Nassry (2nd) and Nadzry (1st).

Baby Nasuha (last boy) and me being the eldest with six little brothers.

Back Then

Life was so much simple. Everything was enough. It was never about the material stuff. I don't remember asking my parents about what I want, because I always had this idea in my head that, "No, we can't afford that," I don't feel bad about things. I always make-do with what I have.

Having a barbie-doll is even a great luxury. No, I never had one. I played with them at my cousin's place, or back in Kedah at my grandparents' when we go back for Raya. Most of the toys were bought by my auntie.

Even Dutch Lady's Strawberry Milk was something that I really-really crave for and I never really asked my mom to get me one. Now my mom bought 6-pack of them, and they're always inside the fridge (no, I don't drink them since they're not for me ^^). I'm not the type of kid that will cry at the store and scream on the floor for not getting what I want. My sisters are.

Maybe that's a bad way on how to educate your kids by telling them that, "You can't always get what you want," which is putting a strain of their dreams and capability.

Maybe, "The world is in your hand, you can have everything you want if you work for it, nothing is impossible," is a way better saying that one should tell their kids.

I'm not a parent, just a big sister to 6 boys and 3 girls.

I miss having us not growing up. I miss playing together and go on trips.

We were so dear to each other. When we were little, we spend so much time together that it's so hard for me to swallow that we're really drifting apart nowadays.

I should cherish the time. I still have 3 beautiful little girls with me now.

Me holding Nafeesa, with Nazneen and Nafhani.

♥,
Nadiah

[tech] Mobile Blogging

Bismillah,

 

   Only recently that I've discovered this app by BLOGGER. There was a limited number of blog application for iPhone back then, and most are 有料(not free).

    I was using the free version of BlogWriter and umph, it was really disappointing. I couldn't upload pictures and I can't write drafts when there's no Internet connection. Even so, the drafts are being saved in the apps, not online. So, when you switch blog accounts, all the posts that you've made before hand goes... sayonara with all the memories.

   I didn't have that much internet connection when I was traveling in The States. I think I had tones of good posts made around last year but, I even lost my notes that I saved in iPhone; I really had no idea what happened.← GREAT FRUSTRATION II after I lost 2000 photos of my Mediterranean trip.  .  .  .because my Malaysian iPhone is a jailbreak ver. unlike my Japan iPhone which I can just upgrade like no ones business. -__-"

   What's easy about mobile blogging is that, we often take memorable/candid pictures using our phones since it's most probably the only item we have (most of the time) in our hand, instead of a camera. What's even more amazing is that, there's such applications like "instagram" where you can edit those photos, and upload them there and then, OR even better, the one I'm using, "LINE CAMERA" where you can do so many amazing stuff to your boring picture. Like this↓

(it was my little sister who made this)


 (BEFORE)

 

(AFTER)

 

 (I made the fly look pretty ;)
   What's so different about this app is that it doesn't only edit the photo with amazing effects, and frames, you can also put super-cute-and-awesome stamps or just put your own words to it!

 

   Talking about words on your photo, if you want to have watermark on your photo, you can use "A+ Signature" for that, or just short wordings by using "Labelbox"; like the above photo (where you can choose from different types of ribbons, and paid version has more ribbons!).

  Almost all the photos I take nowadays came from my phone. So, I'd love to edit them photos before I post them in my blog (which I can start doing from now on).

    I made this post just by using the BLOGGER application and woallah! I can upload 5 pictures at once (for this post; I'm not sure about the limit). I don't have to transfer them into my Mac (which is one of the main reasons of my blogging procrastination since I really hate using the MacBook. it's slow+complicated. It's really not Nadiah-friendly)

   Even though you have 10 million blogs that you have to handle, you can still use the 'switch blog' option without your draft being deleted since they're being sent to your own account, online!

   If you're blogging on tumblr, it's even better because all you do is to click 'REBLOG' or 'LIKE' isn't it? ^^; If you do not plan to post anything of your own, you can just use "Tumblr Gear" app. (because I rarely post things of my own. TUMBLR simply have mind-blowing awesome posts, quotes, photos... everything! It's like a TUMBLR family on it's own inside there) I wish I can just drag them amazing posts from tumblr to my blog here so I can share them with you. (but they're really strict with copyrights)

   I'd love to share the apps that I'm using on my phone. Especially when all of my apps are FREE! haha. My iTunes account is the Japan ver. and I only have ¥1000 left, so I rather not spend them unwisely (like, not even a yen. Haha)


    Since we're in the discussion of easy-to-use blogging applications, why don't you share some of the apps that you're using on your phone? (MAJALAH JOM had a section of suitable apps, but they're for Androids..) I think it should be fine nowadays since apps ike LINE (including LINE Brush/Camera), whatsapp, instagram.. are available for both isn't it?

Android, is pretty much tempting (itching hands must not spend money on android ;_; ) and I really want to explore their oh-so-cool apps and amaaaazing new stuff they can do like the Samsung SIII, and NOTE 10.1... but I rather not take that risk. (Just because my father is never a fan of Samsung, or isit just Android because he's not a fan of Motorola nor Norkiah) LOL. I'm sorry if most of you uses Android ^^"

♥to hear from you

Nadiah

"Mashed-up Potato"

Bismillah,



   After my short trip to PD with my little sisters (which was a badly-needed trip for me even though I had to drive; like a drunken driver at 9pm the previous night), I came back home packing for my first daurah ever since I graduated. =O that's like.... in 5 months?! Maybe longer than that!

   I can't believe I was really excited and I fell like leaving as soon as noon even though it started at 10pm! I wanted to get away in my own 'kepompong tarbiyyah' even though I can say that out of the 30 people there, I only know one of them. Friends were curious, family even more curious that I said I needed to go into the jungle to find some peace. Ala.. FRIM je. They were worried that I might be mixing with weird people. I wanted to be weird, I guess it's Okay.



    Yes, I was messed up. I was a lazy messed up potato that got mashed somewhere in the middle.


 
   I can't be thankful enough for a supporting comment by one of my lovely reader, Miss Fan. I don't think I know you in real life (if I terlupa, please please do remind me!). It's really true that I need to have things laid out in the open so I know where I'm going. One goal at a time. ( & stop blaming, and complaining. x-x)


   Someone tweeted this, and it gave me a real-hard kick in the face. The rules are simple; but doing it might be the hardest thing ever. I can't even cross out any of those 3 rules to prove to myself that they're actually SIMPLE.  I was crushed to the very bone that I had (of being a potato), and building it back would need a LOT of booster power from the Almighty. I just need to ask for it once again.

 

Your task; cross these out one by one if you think you've done them. NOW. 

If not, you're like me, struggling to just overcome the circumstances that we've made upon OUR-SELF.

♥may the force be with us

Nadiah

I am up for something new.

"There's a bigger sea for a girl like me,

 When I come back and try to show some love,"

 「　TRAVELOG - LIFE-LOG by Nadiah　」

  I have no idea how I came out with such name. It just happened. When I started writing the "History" page last night (which each and everyone of you readers should read - that somehow might be me and me),  I know that I can't just let this blog die as a piece of history that just once happened. May no one knows about them, but for sure I need a piece of myself to help carry things on. 

  Actually, I met a friend that made me realized that something great happened to me. But I was such a cry-baby that I let it all passed me by. I don't know if going through pictures is a bad thing, but to take a step back to know that there's amazing places I've got my self to, I was pretty much ungrateful.

  The cover photo of the blog was taken in Jerash, when I visited Jordan, last year. One amazing trip that I never thought I'd made.

A piece of Reality Check

  I lost the battle that was not even meant for me to be in the first place. As soon as I thought that I should fight for it... then came along news. The guy I really-really-really (fill in this blank), is getting married to some stranger.  No emotions left of me but a drop of tears. and that was it. ← isn't this information is just too personal? and out of context obviously... 

 No. I would not settle down for less.

Maybe it's not about what I want. But I know that what I need is much much more important. I'll get over things (and kill me heart softly and take up another billion decades to heal).
 

I'm Up For Something New

 Did I tell you that my dad is planning to send my brother to Bangladesh? and until Petronas is giving me an exact date for me to start my duty, I might be joining him for a while. I am, as well as many has aware is a full-time unmarried housewife with three kids to take care of.← haha. another this-sounds-so-wrong statement. It's an opportunity! maybe. I shall be like "Dora The Explorer"!

 Life back in KL after years of leaving...was, the hardest. Especially puasa sunat Syawal! Those 6 days were like 6 years!! Back in Japan, I could even finish up all the puasa ganti and sunat Syawal during Syawal! But back home, office mak buat makan² every other weekdays, and weekends are just near to impossible. Kalau tak raya, kahwin, kalau tak kahwin, raya, kalau none of the above, reunion la, nikah la, lapar sangat tak tahan nak berbuka lah..(eh? )


So what's new? Well, more to bringing back the dead and leftovers, eh?


- ARAB Tabi (which includes Turkey, Syria, Jordan, Egypt)

- West Coast Tabi (Calfornia, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle including Arizona, though it's not on the west coast )

- Korea Tabi (spent a month of going back and forth to Korea for about 6 times in 3 months)


and Raya of course!!

Eid Mubarak everyone. ♥　

  Though the real Eid is only the first day of Syawal, I'm gonna just ask for your forgiveness here, now, once and for all. If I may not be here tomorrow anymore, will you forgive me and pray for my well-being in the akhirah?

Jazakallah khairan katheera.  

♥,
Nadiah

My Space

Living in a place that's not yours at the age of 24 is just.... absurd.

 With no proper job, no income, and live like a leech in your parent's place... a big no. no. Now I know how exactly my friends have felt for the past years. I couldn't understand it before since I was living far away from home, funded by a full-scholarship (loan to be exact) and only recently finished my studies.


 I don't think my parents will read this anyway.


 I need my blog to be my own space to spare my thoughts once again. Even though it won't benefit you readers directly, it will give you some ideas of what I feel. What I'm going through. My ideas, comments and of course, complaints. ^^ハハ！自分のブログだからこそ、好きにしていいんじゃない？ 


 Coming back for good after nearly 6 years, I had an idea that it'd be fun and exciting. But, I guess not. Not when you don't have money. LOL. I barely hangout with my friends no more since going out means money. Even a cup of teh tarik at the mamak is costly nowadays. I don't mind drinking plain water from the filter as long as it's cheap. It's obviously a healthier choice!

  Hanging out, catching up with friends meaning... that they'll ask questions. Oh, oh, oh... visiting the relatives for Eid was even worse!

Questions;


    When are you getting married?
    Do you not have someone to get married to?
    Do you not even have a boyfriend?

oh, plus this one as well..

   When are you going to start working in Petronas?

and..

   Congratulation for starting in Petronas!

Answers

   NO, I don't know.
   NO. Maybe not yet.
   NO.
and
  I really have no idea.

  Since when I've started working, that some people have already congratulated me?

  Seriously, as much as you can ask me, "Do you not want to get married? Didn't you know it's a part of the deen???" so what do you want me to do? What can I do? Urgh. Please, stop asking questions that I can't even answer to myself. It's utterly frustrating.

  Every time I told my mom, I want to get my own place, she'll start the lecture on, "Why aren't you not married yet and now you want to live alone on your own? Again?!" and "When I was your age, I was married for 2 years and already had you," and "Even some of your friends are waiting for their 2nd child!" and came the golden question from my best friend, "You don't mind being the second wife right? I can try to get you one,"    errrr.. -_____-#


    Oh-my-goodness.

Gimme a space will you.

   I can't even afford to pay for my own phone bill every month that I feel like I don't own anything to be called a living person. I rather work at TESCO or any supermarket for a 5-ringgit per hour pay. But if I work for the money, I'm gonna break my bones off for money and die for money. Which is DEFINITELY not what I'm here for.

    Only time will tell. I will get things done one by one.

and get back to what is meant to be for me. insyaAllah. お願い！私のもとに戻ってき！

 부탁해!!