"Mashed-up Potato"

Bismillah,



   After my short trip to PD with my little sisters (which was a badly-needed trip for me even though I had to drive; like a drunken driver at 9pm the previous night), I came back home packing for my first daurah ever since I graduated. =O that's like.... in 5 months?! Maybe longer than that!

   I can't believe I was really excited and I fell like leaving as soon as noon even though it started at 10pm! I wanted to get away in my own 'kepompong tarbiyyah' even though I can say that out of the 30 people there, I only know one of them. Friends were curious, family even more curious that I said I needed to go into the jungle to find some peace. Ala.. FRIM je. They were worried that I might be mixing with weird people. I wanted to be weird, I guess it's Okay.



    Yes, I was messed up. I was a lazy messed up potato that got mashed somewhere in the middle.


 
   I can't be thankful enough for a supporting comment by one of my lovely reader, Miss Fan. I don't think I know you in real life (if I terlupa, please please do remind me!). It's really true that I need to have things laid out in the open so I know where I'm going. One goal at a time. ( & stop blaming, and complaining. x-x)


   Someone tweeted this, and it gave me a real-hard kick in the face. The rules are simple; but doing it might be the hardest thing ever. I can't even cross out any of those 3 rules to prove to myself that they're actually SIMPLE.  I was crushed to the very bone that I had (of being a potato), and building it back would need a LOT of booster power from the Almighty. I just need to ask for it once again.

 

Your task; cross these out one by one if you think you've done them. NOW. 

If not, you're like me, struggling to just overcome the circumstances that we've made upon OUR-SELF.

♥may the force be with us

Nadiah

I am up for something new.

"There's a bigger sea for a girl like me,

 When I come back and try to show some love,"

 「　TRAVELOG - LIFE-LOG by Nadiah　」

  I have no idea how I came out with such name. It just happened. When I started writing the "History" page last night (which each and everyone of you readers should read - that somehow might be me and me),  I know that I can't just let this blog die as a piece of history that just once happened. May no one knows about them, but for sure I need a piece of myself to help carry things on. 

  Actually, I met a friend that made me realized that something great happened to me. But I was such a cry-baby that I let it all passed me by. I don't know if going through pictures is a bad thing, but to take a step back to know that there's amazing places I've got my self to, I was pretty much ungrateful.

  The cover photo of the blog was taken in Jerash, when I visited Jordan, last year. One amazing trip that I never thought I'd made.

A piece of Reality Check

  I lost the battle that was not even meant for me to be in the first place. As soon as I thought that I should fight for it... then came along news. The guy I really-really-really (fill in this blank), is getting married to some stranger.  No emotions left of me but a drop of tears. and that was it. ← isn't this information is just too personal? and out of context obviously... 

 No. I would not settle down for less.

Maybe it's not about what I want. But I know that what I need is much much more important. I'll get over things (and kill me heart softly and take up another billion decades to heal).
 

I'm Up For Something New

 Did I tell you that my dad is planning to send my brother to Bangladesh? and until Petronas is giving me an exact date for me to start my duty, I might be joining him for a while. I am, as well as many has aware is a full-time unmarried housewife with three kids to take care of.← haha. another this-sounds-so-wrong statement. It's an opportunity! maybe. I shall be like "Dora The Explorer"!

 Life back in KL after years of leaving...was, the hardest. Especially puasa sunat Syawal! Those 6 days were like 6 years!! Back in Japan, I could even finish up all the puasa ganti and sunat Syawal during Syawal! But back home, office mak buat makan² every other weekdays, and weekends are just near to impossible. Kalau tak raya, kahwin, kalau tak kahwin, raya, kalau none of the above, reunion la, nikah la, lapar sangat tak tahan nak berbuka lah..(eh? )


So what's new? Well, more to bringing back the dead and leftovers, eh?


- ARAB Tabi (which includes Turkey, Syria, Jordan, Egypt)

- West Coast Tabi (Calfornia, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle including Arizona, though it's not on the west coast )

- Korea Tabi (spent a month of going back and forth to Korea for about 6 times in 3 months)


and Raya of course!!

Eid Mubarak everyone. ♥　

  Though the real Eid is only the first day of Syawal, I'm gonna just ask for your forgiveness here, now, once and for all. If I may not be here tomorrow anymore, will you forgive me and pray for my well-being in the akhirah?

Jazakallah khairan katheera.  

♥,
Nadiah

My Space

Living in a place that's not yours at the age of 24 is just.... absurd.

 With no proper job, no income, and live like a leech in your parent's place... a big no. no. Now I know how exactly my friends have felt for the past years. I couldn't understand it before since I was living far away from home, funded by a full-scholarship (loan to be exact) and only recently finished my studies.


 I don't think my parents will read this anyway.


 I need my blog to be my own space to spare my thoughts once again. Even though it won't benefit you readers directly, it will give you some ideas of what I feel. What I'm going through. My ideas, comments and of course, complaints. ^^ハハ！自分のブログだからこそ、好きにしていいんじゃない？ 


 Coming back for good after nearly 6 years, I had an idea that it'd be fun and exciting. But, I guess not. Not when you don't have money. LOL. I barely hangout with my friends no more since going out means money. Even a cup of teh tarik at the mamak is costly nowadays. I don't mind drinking plain water from the filter as long as it's cheap. It's obviously a healthier choice!

  Hanging out, catching up with friends meaning... that they'll ask questions. Oh, oh, oh... visiting the relatives for Eid was even worse!

Questions;


    When are you getting married?
    Do you not have someone to get married to?
    Do you not even have a boyfriend?

oh, plus this one as well..

   When are you going to start working in Petronas?

and..

   Congratulation for starting in Petronas!

Answers

   NO, I don't know.
   NO. Maybe not yet.
   NO.
and
  I really have no idea.

  Since when I've started working, that some people have already congratulated me?

  Seriously, as much as you can ask me, "Do you not want to get married? Didn't you know it's a part of the deen???" so what do you want me to do? What can I do? Urgh. Please, stop asking questions that I can't even answer to myself. It's utterly frustrating.

  Every time I told my mom, I want to get my own place, she'll start the lecture on, "Why aren't you not married yet and now you want to live alone on your own? Again?!" and "When I was your age, I was married for 2 years and already had you," and "Even some of your friends are waiting for their 2nd child!" and came the golden question from my best friend, "You don't mind being the second wife right? I can try to get you one,"    errrr.. -_____-#


    Oh-my-goodness.

Gimme a space will you.

   I can't even afford to pay for my own phone bill every month that I feel like I don't own anything to be called a living person. I rather work at TESCO or any supermarket for a 5-ringgit per hour pay. But if I work for the money, I'm gonna break my bones off for money and die for money. Which is DEFINITELY not what I'm here for.

    Only time will tell. I will get things done one by one.

and get back to what is meant to be for me. insyaAllah. お願い！私のもとに戻ってき！

 부탁해!!

17 Ramadhan

I think I woke up too early for qiam.

All I want to do is to go back to sleep. 

- tak selesa, 

- mandi

- solat dhuha

- nak tidur atas cadar bersih yang baru sbb dah mandi

- so, have to tukar cadar,

-Tapi kena cuci kipas before tukar cadar.

-before cuci kipas, kena clear kan lantai

- perlu simpan baju, bersihkan lapik kaki, 

-Tapi dalam mesin ada baju lain,

-so kena sidai kain,

- nak sidai kain kena bersihkan luar Sbb banyak habuk.

So ended up, 

-sapu kat luar, ketuk lapik kaki,

- sidai baju, cuci lapik kaki,

- bersihkan kipas, vacuum bilik,  bersihkan langsir, kemas bilik, lap lantai, 

- pasang cadar baru, 

Sedar2 dah Zohor T-T

And I'm so sleepy macam zombie.

The thing that kept me going on was, as cliche as it may sound...

Hari ni Hari Perang Badar. 

If you wanna sleep, work for it. 

*pengsan*

#this is a *complaining post. It doesn't look like a blog post anyway. XD