Back to reality.

I can't stop crying after I left my family at the airport. My flight is at 11:30, yet at 11:15 I was still hanging around with them at the entrance. I know that I'm going to be the last one to enter, and the flight crew will be looking for me at any moment. If I follow whatever that my heart is telling me, I would just let the plane leave. Upset. My stomach has been in a bad mood all day long. I don't feel like packing, nor talking about leaving. I was never bothered to check my flight details. Its a week to Aidilfitr, and things couldn't get any worse. Everytime I do something, I'll go, "Tomorrow, at this hour, where will I be?",and "This would be my last solat jemaah at home..", "This is my last sahur with the whole family.." Everytime I take a picture, I'll tell my self, "Nadiah, take as much picture as you can. Savour the moment. You will never know if this is your last picture of them, or the next time you'll see them, they're not the same as you see them today." Its the price that I have to pay for leaving. Its the price that I have to pay to achieve my dreams. I'm missing out watching my little sisters and brothers grow up. Missing out on their laughs and cries. Its been 10hours since I've landed here in Japan. The tears keep on flowing. It doenst seems to dry. Its iftar in a few minutes. I know if I go back home now, and berbuka alone.. I'm going to go crazy. I'm at ABK. Pretending that I'm okay, while every word I say is actually stabbing me slowly. and every time I feel like talking, I will start to sob.

Tagged

Nothing much. I've been tagged by my friend Munzir, the photographer. =) enjoy~ Nama-nama timangan anda: Family panggil Nadiah. Even adik2 akan panggil Nadiah. they dont call me kakak atau yg sewaktu dgnnya. Start form 4, ada yang start calling me Niea(ni-a). sebab ramai sangat dah kut orang nama nadiah ni.. =0 tapi nama tu doa kan? oleh itu doa2 la saye yer. Meaning nama nadiah ni, pertolongan. InsyaAllah saya bisa menjadi satu pertolongan buat kamu. =) Anda seorang yang... hah?? hmm, yang banyak cakap kalau saya diperlukan untuk bercakap dan tahu apa yg perlu cakap. Kalau tak, you would probably see me as someone yang pendiam or sombong. But, I'm very friendly kalau orang friendly dgn i. hehe.. saya juga seorang yang prefer untuk tidak duduk diam. Kalau jalan, sebulan la saya akan berjalan2. kalau terperap kat rumah, seminggu la saya takkan keluar rumah pun. Oleh itu, preference, more to adventure dan jalan2 di luar. Insan Teristimewa Dimata Anda: Mummy. Bonda. Ibu. Umi.. =) Lagu Kesukaan Anda: Lagu-kah? Herm, Im such a universal listener. I dont even know. Makanan Kesukaan Anda: Saya suka makan. Kita semua suka makan. NOthing in particular kut. Tapi kalau orang masakkan tuk I, lagi happiness~ Warna Kesukaan Anda: Masa form 1, saya suka biru. Satu bilik saya semua warna biru. Form 2, saya suka hijau.. Sza suka panggil saya Pokok sebab selalu pakai seluar brown-ish dan baju hijau. Masuk form 3 onwards, suka sangat purple sebab Harry Potter punya theme selalu warna purple. Purple tu mysterious warnanya. But, since dah kat Jepun, mysterious color doesn't suits me anymore sebab macam depressing je. haha.. So, secara taklansung, I tend to buy things yang happy colors, so.. ended up, banyak my stuff warna pink cerah. -the end- Sikap yang membuatkan anda bengang: Bengang kalau orang suka dengki kat kita. Tak boleh tengok orang lain senang. Kalau tak pun, orang yang pikir pasal perut sendiri je. (selfish a tuh..) Tiga benda yang mesti ada dalam beg anda: mana boleh tiga benda je. saya ada beg kalah doraemon. Tapi kalau malas, ape mende pun tak bawak, kecuali IC. Nanti kene tangkap ingat pendatang haram lakk. 1.Ubat mata. (on medication) 2.Ipod 3.Te-cho (diary-organizer) purse tak bawak lagi bagus, takyah belanja. hoho.. Kali terakhir anda menangis dan kenapa? oh. oh. oh. banyak kali. manusia perlu menangis. ada sebab tuhan jadikan air-mata. Tag 6 rakan anda: 1. Adam Shah 2.Aiman Dafrosty 3.Najwa Diyana 4. Hamizah Omar 5.Irene Suraya 6. Sesiapa yang rajin, sila2. =)

Tudung oh tudung..

(sementara menunggu upload 5 keping gambar, using the snail uploader for facebook.. ) I slept over at Daia's dorm in UIAM, Gombak,after we went for iftar with Alia n the rest, last night. The experience, (sleeping at local's dorm) was well.. something new to me. I never really went to any boarding school before. (INTEC, exception. I went back home everyweek; and brought back the laundry too with me! ) It doenst really feel so hommie; at the dorm . The furniture.. n everything else.. erm, steel bakari. I would have bring in a sofa or a couch if I'd ever stay there . (we had couches and sofa back in INTEC.. yay!) Plus, the feeling of sahur pun macam sad je..Makan sorang2.. telan sebijik2 the food, buat syarat sahur.. I want to sit with others, talking while eating..(walaupun semua mengantuk, t there'll be s2ome jokes and laugh and happiness.. ^-^) It makes me feel like going home there and then jugak. Haish. -not to worry daia, its not ur fault- x) So anyway, back to my main topic, hehe... I've decided to go to Masjid Jamek, and walk the bazaar thru to Jalan TAR. Yeah, I've spent all that I have. Someone's full month salary I guess. Countless pair of tudung and few Arabian jubahs, I'm officially ringgit broke.

What caught my attention was all the scarf booth that I went. Where most of the seller dont wear one(tudung), or wears one very badly. Its a shame. Some even wears short in this very-very mulia month of Ramadhan. astaghfirullah. How can you ask people to try on this and that, yang ini lawa la... famous la, ramai orang pakai la.. selesa la.. when you, yourself are not wearing one. what the heck la kan? Macam suruh orang lain beli kasut, tapi sendiri kaki ayam. Boleh la pulak buat demo, saying that it looks good on her, should looks good on me too.. well, you should wear one then. There was this one time, when I asked this lady for a bigger size, normal bidang 45, but I asked for 50/60.. She went, "Kenapa la suka sangat pakai besar-besar ni haa??" Eh, lady.. You nak pakai ke I nak pakai? You nak beli ke, I nak beli?. Why do YOU (or me) wear (or dont wear) tudung in the first place? Siapa boleh jawab? I can guess all the typical answer. I've had enough of it. Terpaksa dan memaksa..? Fashion..? Melambangkan ke'islam'an..? dan banyak lagi.. its TOO subjective right? I dont want to judge people. I know its not good. lagi2 bulan ramadhan. -istighfar- But, what I want to share here is, the ONLY reason why we should wear tudung is because ALLAH s.w.t said so. wether you like it or not. If you want to be beautiful, feel beautiful, isnt it great if we're beautiful in the sight of Allah? I'm sure, once that is taken into consideration(as in the main of all beauty), in the eyes of us, humans.. its rather priceless. If you said that your're not ready, still.. alhamdullillah. it seemd like you've considered yourself wearing one. Allah knows the best about your ready-ness, while I can only make Du'a for you. Seriously, I think that the power of Du'a is great. Alhamdulillah, I think that someone made a du'a for me. Semua orang sedang di-doakan dan kita juga patut berdoa untuk kebaikan orang lain. Rather than mencaci dan mengata. It would be a wonderful world filled with du'a. Allah knows all the 1001 reason why. why we should do this, and that. We as humans, we need the guide. Its as simple as a manufacturer that knows best about his product. You would'nt want your robot to be sticking its head into a pile of water would you? So, you'll set the do's and dont's on how the robot shoul lead its life. [I'm very sorry kalau post ini telah mengganggu ketenteraman awam, but its here for a reason. All the good and great things comes from The One and Only God, and the mistakes, the bad ones, come from me. Selamat berpuasa!]

Naim and Petronas?

We can't stop laughing!! Especially the part where Naim starts to show a sad face and hug Afdlin Shauki. LOLs! The first time we saw the commercial on tv, we didnt expect him to play such role as he never told us about the storyboard. Atok and makcik was at our house that night, but they said that they've watched the commercial back home and did not realised that it was Naim on the televison. Haha. "Sangat skema rupa dia dalam TV tu.. "

My brother said that Afdlin was a strict person on set, and he act very well indeed. He can just drop a tear in a matter of sec. Well, that's a reason why they call 'em good actor/actress.

Its official now that at least 3 of our siblings have been on the television. My mom, my dad, me, Naim, and Nadzmi(who played some dramas few years back). I have a bigger dream for this industry. I want to own it. Not just to be some few seconds part of it. It would be great to own a TV station. Make my own drama, and implies the rules that are supposed to be implied. =)

Daa.