Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
As If Im gonna be happier.
as im typing, and keep on typing.. im crashing my heart to ashes.
this hurts a lot. as i need a shoulder badly to cry on. as im starting to brake down.
I pretend too much to be happy. im trying too hard. but it ended up eating myhead off.
im turning 2b someone im not. someone i never wish i would ever want to be. if only the world evolves around me. if only he treates me just a lil bit nicely. i wont have anything to say, or to blame.
i know, people hate to care bout other's problem. dont try to be nice if ur not. if u dont want to know my storyline, n help me cope with it, then, thanks. i dont need that kind of attention.
let me write. dont bother me. as he say, if only it cud make me happier. while im separating myself from my environment, trying to fit in, trying to change, these are my obsticles. my test to hold on. to keep on breathing for my life.
i need a change. something less bitter than this. the right time to just follow the flow. its not about "just-some-other-guy" problem. i dont know if i was wrong. i dont know if he's right. i dont know if others are the same too.
im just a lil bit broken.. n caught in a moment. a moment for me to open up a bad little bruise on my skin.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
More To Reality.
Shopping technology.
Thats everything that i own now. Hp printer, IBM Laptop, my Logitech Webcam, My headphone, Some internet security crap, ( sebelum mereka dirasmikan).
I should be thankful. and I am. very am.
My Laptop & Webcam.
Pada masa ini laptop saya dodol. Dia buat perangai pada hari ke-2 sy menggunakannya. All the kanji popped out! And it died at then. Pelik kan? Jangan tanya kenapa saya beli IBM. Saya kan pandai.. xnak dgr cakap org..
My phone n iPod.
I got 'em together. With this plan from SoftBank.
But i have to hold the phone for the next 2 years. But i got the 2G iPod for a cheaper price. It was a good deal. Till i have to pay the bills every month, then i'll know how good the deal was..
My Room.
Its super messy. Just deal with it. I can be a good housekeeper if i want to. =P
I live in this plc alone. Husna 's next door. But now I have some other gadgets to not make me feel lonely. n Im happy here btter than anyplc.
*Expt. thier garden n hill tops. Those are the best plc to hang out or just chill. But alone la.. Hehee..
2 Months.
Days went soo fast. I couldn't feel the moving time. Im starting back this blog of mine after stoppin for a while. Its hard though, to just sit and write. I ave the words right here in my head. But when it comes to online-ing and writin blogs, I stumbled.2day, the 3rd time we change place in class. I never expected anything. But it seems that sometimes the choices lies in my hand. To change or not. Im starting to get annoyed. The uneaseness is killin me. Im not happy with my seating. It is I who have to get use to my environment. How to be happy with whatever ur given? To make full use of it?
As days are getting shorter. My life is gettin wasted. Isyak is at 5 sumthing p.m now. by that time, I felt like, "Oh, I prayed isyak already.. now its time for bed". Its good is someway, but I ended up goin 2bed at 2-3a.m in the mornin online-ing and doin my homework. The next morning, im gonna struggle very hard in class just to stay up. 3p.m, i reached home, back to the laptop again. The same routine goes on for the past week! Something is somehow wrong here.
Its gettin colder day by day.. my room is super freakin cold cuz my heater broke down. They're changing a new one next week. By that time, i dont know what cud happen to me. Hmm.. I cant blame the weather. Damn me.
Bunga yg sgt chomel tapi sangat mahal.. bout 24 bux. 788YEN. there's one with cherries n cute little apples. =)Picture with JPA's senior. This mountain ada keluar asap panas dsbbkan gunung berapi.. Pastu diorang buat telur hitam kat sini.. Rasa sama je mcm telur biasa, cuma hitam. mesti diorang x pnah tgk telur masin.. =P
This picture on top was taken from the bukit berasap which ive forgotten what its name was. Mount Fuji can be seen from up here. Its like a snow white small mount floatin in the air. It was so beautiful. Hontou.
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