He Gives It All

Dear god,

Why do I always get what I want? I am scared to death for this. Where did I go right? Or where did I go wrong?

You give me everything I want, and everything I need, and I do know that You too have all the power to take everything back from me. It's all yours to even begin with.

You test me with laughter and tears,
with gratitude and grief.

You test me with health and pains, with happiness and loneliness.

I am no superwoman in this battlefield.

I failed - and I got up to give it another try.
I lost - and I got up to give it another fight.

You are always here when I need You. But I am horrified to think of the times that I will abandon You because I know that You will always take me back.

I want to always remember You - Your peace. But I know that I need to always be sober from my old dreams and get back on my feet to face the fact.

The reality that-
I am scared.

What is this test? I cannot read You. I know nothing of the world, I know nothing of the life.

Yet, You give it all. All that I've ever want, all that I've ever need.

The Glorified Names

The Road

This is my post no.300, since my dad made the blog for me in 2002. =) I made this about a month ago. I 'em family. I miss 'em friends.

When hope is always around.

This is a picture taken from my programming class's student portal. The first zero means completed. Well, I haven't completed any of them. To be specific, none of my report have been graded yet for the past semester. Awesome!  Second, is the number 5. I've sent ONLY 5 reports so far. No wonder he's not bothered to grade any of them because..... I have 53 more reports to go by the end of next week  My dear family and friends, this is only a 2 credit class. I have 11 class this semester all together, and I am looking forward for my French communication III exam at the end of the month. Alhamdulillah, I am still sane and believe that things will go perfectly well by the time I'm ready for home this summer holiday. I already bought the tickets for 100,000yen - from 3rd august until 21 sept and yes, they're very expensive. But Iman said it's a process of "penyucian harta". Uh-huh, a person that bought a cheaper ticket can say that (ToT)/~~~ Maybe it's true. I really AM not bothered about money for the past months even though I'm way passed bankruptcy. I buy things that I need, and go where I have to go, regardless of the balance I have in mizuho( the name of a bank in Tokyo). I just know that things will be alright. Money is everywhere. Boleh dicari. If Allah has decided that the money is mine, then it will be mine. This is my voice when I am happy. Today, I am very happy indeed. I have no idea why, but this is the day I start to memorize the Surah Al- Mulk. No doubt that it is quite long for an amateur like me to be able to do 'em, but I'm fairly positive about it. I found it easy if I'm in the process of memorizing the book of God, and then trying to understand and memorize things that I have to learn at school. (I mean, university--) Verily, it is Him who holds the key to our heart. He can make things the way He wants it to be, and yes.. we have to ask for it! Nothing is impossible with Allah. Impossible. I'm possible. Nadiah Azli