Mengapa..

Dah penat nk memikir benda yg sentiasa akan jadi masalah. Semua orang berubah dan hidup perlu diteruskan. Kalau dah susah sangat nak hidup dengan orang lain, jangan kesah la kalau orang tak pedulikan kamu.
Tapi entahlah..

I did crossed the ocean.

Tak faham kenapa perlu untuk jadi sampai macam ni.

Just give me some kind of sign.

Mungkin kita dah tak serasi lagi untuk meluangkan masa bersama. atau

Is this the right place or the right time?

Banglas & Tesco

I went to Tecso last week. There was to many Bangladesh workers that I can barely see local people working in Tesco.

They're trying to cut down the budget I supposed.

So then, when I went to look for spaghetti, I asked a Bangla worker where it is, and he shouted back to me, "No!, No!" and shoved me away. Wow.. wasn't that scary enough to tell you not to ask any Bangla worker anything..? They cant understand any Malay, or English isit? I had no idea.

But that wasnt the only thing that happened. On my way to the car, few minutes before Tesco closes, there was some Banglas (again..) were trying to chase us out from the store. (They were shouting, "Out!,Out!"). I was already on my way to leave the place la, haiyooh! But the BANGLAS didnt tell us that all the west exit was already closed! I had to turn back, to the east exit, pushing the super heavy cart, cursing the stupid Banglas all the way back to my car.

What a waste of time. Seriously, TESCO, if you guys thinks that hiring the Banglas are cheaper, for the quality of the service, its going all the way to the drain.. Somehow, I prefer to shop at Carrefour or Mydin.. Lagi senang hati kut..

13 days have passed.

It hurts a lot when I expect too much.
Reality knocked me on the head. Where did I go wrong?

Just looking at my baby sister would be one of the happiest thing to do. Sitting in front of the tv all day long on the big black sofa, how I wish I can do that. When my mom was out, I had to take care of the baby. Obviously, I cant provide the "baby food", so I ended up carrying her everywhere I go, trying very hard to keep her from crying. Cooking with one hand wasn't easy as I had to set up the dining table as well. I didn't want to complain because I should be thankful about being at home..


Home is great. There's no place like home. But I want to go out too, meet my friends, hang out, go shopping. But as the 13th day passed, things have been.. almost the same. Yeah, I went out with Sza and some of the other girls. Somehow, I still ended up shopping all alone. Ah! Pathetic-nya!!

I went thru a bad chapter with him today. and I want to write about it. It was my first time ever to raise my voice and tell him about how I felt. How angry I was with him. It ended up that, I was the one to blame and things has always been my fault.
I have to admit that I wanted to spend more time with him. I do miss him. I havent really hang out with him for about 2 years or so. When he have to leave even before we really did anything, I was heart broken. The story is not as short nor simple as this. But one thing for sure, I need to repair it. He did the best he can to give me what I want. Entahlah.. it wasn't enough.

Alhamdulillah, I have a great family. At home, I cant shred a tear, nor have the time to even think about any relationship problems. Things are always.. happy. =)

2moro, I'll be going to Singapore InsyaAllah to do some shopping. Again, alone. I can only pray that things will turn out to be fine in days to come.

Kokoni Iru yo

I'll be right here Music & Lyrics: SoulJa Baby boy, I’ll be right here I’ll be here waiting for you You know that I love you, so there’s no need for you to worry No matter how far apart we are, this heart won’t change You know what I’m trying to say, right? I’ll be waiting for you I’m a bit clumsy, and you are far away While I struggled to tell you how I feel, you were already gone Now, what remains of you is inside my albums These days, radio waves are the only way we can meet But I can’t see your smiles, Your warmth, the smell of your hair—I can't quench this longing for you in the days that pass, I desperately searched for traces of you The road I used to walk with you just echoes with my footsteps now But more importantly, how are you? Are you taking care of yourself? Damn it, the words just won’t come out I’ll send it next time, a letter from me Baby boy, I’ll be right here I’ll be here waiting for you You know that I love you, so there’s no need for you to worry No matter how far apart we are, this heart won’t change You know what I’m trying to say, right? I’ll be waiting for you The way you looked at the beach in Kamakura, how the waves swallowed the words I wanted to tell you This is really difficult, even though I’m a man--- the words just won’t come out Do you still remember? When we went to karaoke together I wanted to say to you those words in the song I sang, just as they appeared on the monitor I still can’t forget your smile From the first day we spent, just the two of us – you were cheerful as if we had met coincidentally I’ve gone on quite a tangent, but you understand, right? What I’m trying to say? Shit, there’s no more space to write I’m sorry, I’ll definitely send this next one If I had more money, or if I had a more serious job If I could give everything else up, I would definitely, for you… But please, don’t ever misunderstand, I hate to make you lonely, but… While I’m busy, we can’t talk much, but baby believe, this is all for our future But in reality, I want to see you right now, I want to hold you in my arms The place you used to sit, next to me, is empty now, there’s no one… Well, that’s not important, that’s not what I’m trying to say This is coming so late, but I’ll fill it with the words I wanted to say and send you my unsent letter Baby girl, I’ll be right here I’ll be here waiting for you You know that I love you, so there’s no need for you to worry No matter how far apart we are, this heart won’t change You know what I’m trying to say, right? I’ll be waiting for you Now I can say it to you straight I don’t ever wanna let you go