A Different Holiday.

Bismillah,


What does a two-weeks school holiday means to a still-single-25-year-old career woman living with a bunch of school teachers?

Home-alone.
and more work at the office.

Why?

Because most of everyone else will take leave to spend time with their kids jalan-jalan makan angin.


Though 3 of my little sisters were here last week, and I had to be a single-mother, junggling kids and work, it was one *hell of an interesting experience.


I became super efficient doing my work knowing I have to leave for lunch early to get food for the kids and get home at least before 5:30pm to bring them to the beach (though I managed to get off only at about 6pm). I managed to clear more than 10 pending jobs in a couple of days (a record breaking for Nadiah! haha)

I look forward to going home for the first time in months.

I cook more dishes I never knew I could.

I eat a complete meal, 3 times a day.

I was constantly doing the laundry, day-and-night since someone peed in bed.

I was physically tired, but they kept me going.

It was fun, going to the beach and play with the sands.

I guessed.. having kids isn't that bad after all.



Few days passed by,

I realized I couldn't take it anymore. I needed support. mental support. It was really hard to get by another day being a single mother. It striked me. How's my mother doing with all these kids at home.

I needed someone to tell me that things will be alright (almost had a breakdown).

I knew where I had to go.

Home.



So, that's my school holiday experience. Now that no one's at home (in Kerteh), I'd rather stay in the office till late, 10 than stay at home on my own. -_-"








 

Kerts.

Bismillah,


Another weekend spent in Kuala Lumpur.



I'm actually on my way back to Kerteh now. I go back to KL almost every weekend, which I can justify that tengok muka mak dapat pahala and the amount of money spent on the road is well spent. RM200+ for a retun trip if I'm driving alone, and RM70 (return) if I take the bus.

I've tried asking around if I can carpool with anyone who goes back to KL that weekend, though every time I ask someone their answer is always the same, "Ramai je orang balik KL". There's someone, but don't know who. A four-hours trip should be spent with someone they know well enough to be on the journey together. When I finally found one, they'll say "kereta dah penuh", "balik esok kot..tengoklah", "cuba tanya orang lain dulu,".

I guess not yet then. InsyaAllah later on.

Why do I have to go back all the time?
Because I want to.

I'm the imported maid from the East Coast. Heh. I can know from the amount of laundry I made that weekend is a pile of 2 days or 2-weeks old laundry. So does the dishes, the mopping, the cleaning and the list goes on.

How I wish I can teleport from Kerteh to KL. Once I arrived home, I'd be sleeping/golek-golek-ing all day from the exhaustion of 5 days work and 4-5 hours traveling from Kerteh. Baru masuk Sabtu dah kena pack untuk balik Kerteh.


Can't you transfer to KL?
Give me a year.

Give me one complete PPA cycle to learn and prove myself here in operation. The work that I'm currently juggling right now is pretty much intense because I have so much to learn, yet I think that someone else can do some of the easy part (yet extremely time consuming) for me. I can pay another person a portion of my pay to get those clerical work done since it only requires you to be able to read english. Hoh.

Susun contract. Susun list. Check list. Keep track of list. Update list.
Streamlining

Ngahaha.


I really enjoy my work though. The people around me are lovely and nice too. Selalu rasa nak balik Kerteh though me family isn't there, and the long-distance relationship is teaches a lot on understanding other's feelings from afar. Blessed indeed.



Where to next? Wallahualam.
Looking forward to what Kerts have for me.

Too Familiar.

Bismilllah,

Another day in at work after nearly 4 months of working in Kerteh, Terengganu. I've been wanting to update, but my hands are tied to so many things lately. I shoudn't be.

I love what I'm doing. 'Cause everyday is a new process of learning yet I do feel like banging my head on the desk sometimes feeling clueless of the situation. I'm new, but I  know I must not make that as an excuse.

I did (or I still am) feeling like an outsider all the time. It felt too familiar to when I first arrived in Japan. I couldn't fit it. I smirk at every single thing that I'm against, and I de-attached myself from groups that I don't feel like mixing with.

Someone used to say that I'm really bad at pretending how I feel about things. If I hate it, I glows on my face saying "Ew. Just no" though from my mouth I say.. "sure thing".

I know things will get so much better.

Like how we bond like mad, me and my Japan buddies up until now, 7 years later. After mountains of hardship and drama of I-hate-you-it's-all-your-fault and why-must-you-be-a-b***h situation, I guess the rope that we hold on to got tighter.


Should be alright.

"Handsome tak?"

Me; "Babe, I have a friend nak recommend kat you,"

Friend; "Hensem tak? Tunjuk gambar plis."

    I can't say that I've found the man of my life. At least not officially yet. But when I found that man, his looks was not the reason why I said yes. (Or, was it my "conditional yes"...?)

   The conversation above applies to almost all my single girlfriends I have out there. Don't tell me things like, "Sebab tu la diorang masih single" and what not. Maybe they're just taking chances, for having themselves heartbroken for a number of times. To them, if they're gonna go for it again, why don't go for a pretty face instead, since getting dumped for another girl would be a really tragic life experience.

  It's not who to blame, but what has become of us being so afraid to take real-life chances.

  The moment they ask, "is he a good-looking guy?", I know they're not in it for the long-term. Maybe they eventually will, we don't know yet.. but most aren't when they ask such. They'll give it a try, if it's a face worth crying over for.

Really.

Love, doesn't come to you on it's own. A man will.

That man will show you the meaning of being brave, responsible of taking those chances, and most of all, sacrifice for commitments.

Whether he's a friend, a colleague, an acquaintance, or your neigbour,

life happens.

By then, you won't be bothered to ask, "Handsome tak?"


 Though you'd be saying, "I don't even love him," with doubt if you can ever live with him, never ever doubt Allah. He's the owner of all hearts. He gives us the feeling of love, and He can take them back whenever He wants to.

Ask from Allah for love.

Love will overcomes all those bumps in life, and of course, you'll be tested again,

"What you innit for?"

For that handsome face you used to adore?
For that heritage that you wanted so much?
For that status that gets you places?
For that romance that you found exciting?
For that manly attitude that got you falling in love? 


Or for the sake of the love you've asked from Allah, to please only Allah? or did you even ask from Him?


Humans change. We change. That man you love, will change.
He gets ugly and old, so do we.
He gets loveless, so do we.
He gets tired and boring, so do we.
and all those glitters might not be there anymore.


Can you live together with that? or, till death do us part? or was it "till jannah.." ?


  I might sound skeptical this time. Yes, I am. I might sound like I'm having a cold feet right now. Maybe I am. I just want to do things right, and I know it shouldn't be that complicated.


Ya Allah, do ease things for me, and for my girlfriends out there.


"Handsome tak?" won't get you started. At all.


love,
Nadiah.